My South African Ex-wife comes from a tribe where their boys are like most Members of CORD… Hawakatwi!
A few years back we were blessed with a Baby Boy and as much as i knew it would be Difficult to make her understand how important it was for me to get my son Circumcised,i didnt expect all the drama that i would have to put up with in my bid to see my son become a Man`
My Challenges were Two-Fold!
The Government in the country that my son was born is against Circumcision and they go as far as calling it “Child Mutilation”.
Children belong to the Government in that country and you as the parents are reduced to nothing more than Sperm Donors and Incubators! - Or so it feels like!
From the Mother`s First appointment with the GP (General Practioner)/ Family Doctor by any other name, when she is told that she is Pregnant,she is answerable to a Mid-wife who follows up the pregnancy and all that comes with pregnancy until the child is born.
The Mid-wife then passes you on to a Community Nurse who follows up on the mother and child until the Child is almost a Teenager.
These two proffesionals are your worst Nightmare if you are a man who upholds traditional and Cultural practices like getting your young boy Circumcised.
By the time i had overcome the Brainwash and Fear that had been instilled in my Sons Mother by these two people regarding how unnecessary and “abusive” it is to have my son Circumcised,we were on the verge of breaking up and i made her choose Between me or raising our kids alone.
See; I had to move Fast because there is only a window of the First 18 months of a Boys Childhood when the Few Doctors that are Licenced to carry out the operation can do it Safely. Most of them wouldnt do it if the boy was even older than 9 months because in that Country it was only allowed on Religious Grounds!
So i had to either find a Jewish or Muslim Doctor to do it.
I made the ex-wife book the appointment as a Reassuarance to me that she agreed and respected my Culture.
She Finally agreed to it when my son was around 10 months old and the Nearest Doctor to us was like 80 miles away.
The Comedy of it all came on the day itself!..
For me,it was a non-issue and i didnt see any point in making a dance and song about it so i just arranged for a day off work on the day. Afterall, i would rather have had him get circumcised in Kenya the real traditional way at 13 years of age but i knew all so well how this had Back-fired on a few of my friends who almost lost Custody of their Sons after they had told their friends that their father was taking them to Africa to have their "Willies" Chopped Off by a Witch-Doctor!.... A few of their friends had reported it to the Authorities in the School and before you know it;Police,Social Services and Immigration Get Involved and you now have to prove it to them that you are Not Abusing or Endangering your Childrens Safety!
I wasn`t going to get Caught out like that!..
Un-be-known to me,the Wife has organised for her Cousins and Friends to meet us at the Clinic so that they can Witness this Amazing Abnormal Drama!
So there is a whole group of Bootylicious South African Women seated at the Reception Room at the Clinic and then Doctor Nasseem (some Pakistani ) comes up to me and goes through what he was about to do to my innocent little boy who is otherwise Oblivious to what is about to befall him!
He says that it is only i or the mother that can go in to comfort the baby as the nurse would do everything else!
I quickly volunteer and after a “controlled argument” the mother concedes that i should be the one to go in.
I knew she Couldn`t Handle watching the Procdure and what made it more difficult was the Loud Helpless Cries that we could hear from the other kids that preceded us!..
So my son`s name is called and i take him from a reluctant mother and walk in the direction of the theatre.
Procedure ishaanza and my boy thinks its all fun and games until the first Sindano goes in straight to the side of his little member and which is followed swiftly by another on the oppsite side of his little cock!
I had never heard that High Note of Yelling and Screaming that came out of my Son and within a flash of a second, her mom Burst in through the Theatre Door also crying and yelling like it was happening to her!
Now here we are; On one hand the Doctor is Focused on Finishing the Job and on the other Hand i have an Irate wife screaming at me and the Doctor calling for him to Stop the operation!..
I grab her and lead her towards the direction of the door and as i drag her out,there is another whole set of Women in tears and crying uncontrollably as though somebody had just got killed!
In time the Doctor finishes his job,gives my son some Painkillers and when all is abit Calm.he explains to me what ui need to do for my son for the Next week.
Needless to Say,Sikuongeleshwa for the Journey back home and even for 2 days after that.
All i could see was her on the phone speaking to her cousins going through the Traumatic Events of that Day!
Sema Culture Shock!