My stories can run as a Mexican soap for three months.
Before departing to the cell, I had my belt, wallet and one shoe removed. Nilijua sijui. As I was being escorted to the cell, it was already dark, a few minutes to eight p.m. In my mind I was still thinking how I could do what Sylvester Stallone did in Rambo II, escape from a cell. The officer who was escorting me opened the cell’s door, and it sounded like it was a ka-garage, something heavy. Nikajua no chance of escaping like Sobibor. Then before allowing me inside, he un-handcuffed me. I tip-toed inside so as not to kanyaga any mean ninja based on my memories of all the movies including Nairobi Half Life that I had watched. Luckily, the cell was not full; I was customer number eight to be booked in. I said hi to all of them and then a certain fellow 9let’s call him Tony) proceeded to ask what brought me there and where I was. I explain the matter at hand. Oga! I’ve never been shocked. This guy told me to start praying to all my ancestors and all the Greek goddesses. He had a ka-bass, so he said: “Hiyo ni defilement case, minimum ni mbao.” I had never committed any crime before so I never knew what defilement meant.
The other guys joined in and started telling me that a good judge would hand me 20 years in Kamiti, otherwise most would just give me my age as the sentence. Man, I was panicking. To add salt to injury, they were telling me vile by the next morning I would be taken to court. Anyway, that day I realized criminals could be good citizens to fellow criminals like myself for they all advised me on how to go about the case. Tony, for instance, said the only way I could get out of court without any jail term is if the girl denied to have ever seen me in her life and the person who ferked her was another guy. We talked till very late coz the cold floor could not allow one to sleep comfortably. Because I was also the last patient for the day, I slept closer to the door na it had mwanya ya kuingiza upepo. That foot that had no shoe was freezing.
Among the seven criminals, four were from a gang mission and one had a bullet wound. Though he had been treated, the police kept on checking on his status after every 30 mins. So we couldn’t sleep. Me I couldn’t get any sleep coz I slept angry as well. By morning ndio I realized being in a cell is worse than being in jail. We had a bucket to relieve ourselves (kubwa na ndogo) and the smell was pungent. By nine, the four gang members and some two guys were taken to court, leaving Tony and me. To my surprise, he was a regular customer coz officers knew him by name, and he was taken to do menial jobs around. I later learnt he was a campus dude who got expelled for stealing of laptops. Terrible thief from Siaya.
Later on, some two guys joined me in the dark room. It was dark that you couldn’t tell what time it was. By midday, the girl and I were taken to the local govt hospital for lab tests. Patients were looking at me na huruma kama paka inatokwa na machozi coz I was handcuffed all along. My efforts to sway, the young lab technician, a fellow boyshaud fell on deaf ears. Nilikuwa nakaangika knowing all too well that kesho saa tatu nafikishwa kizimbani. One merciful officer gave me phone to talk to my dad. The Lord is indeed good all the time. I never knew his numbers off-head, but this day the numbers I gave were his. At first old man thought I just wanted to con him. Boyshaud pleaded with him that asinilipie fee ya fourth year but anitoe kwa shida. He refused, and after two hours I was back in cell. At about 4 pm my name was called by a certain Amerucan officer. Took me to the OCS’ office. Called the girl’s mother. Kumbe later on, the OCS, had talked to my father that my education would go into waste if he didn’t soften his heart. But the OCS was acting not for being concerned but out of tumbocracy and corruption. The girl’s mother was also cornered, and a transfer fee that I won’t disclose here was agreed upon, but with a clause that I am slapped motomoto. The slaps were my release clause. And men the Amerucan officer had palms that could cover my face. After the ordeal, I went for two weeks hearing from one ear alone, but I’m glad I was set free.
Now after being released, the three officers who had arrested me…………