The Cheating Man.

I do not envy cheaters. Infidelity is nothing short of an extreme sport.

Cheaters really should be paying higher insurance premiums on everything. There is so much risk involved in living a double life, and trying to keep the two adults in your life from finding out about each other. Everything from having to take the phone to the toilet with you, to fake business trips to Mombasa.

Then there is the increased mileage on your car, encrypted e-mails, secret folders and credit card billing for a really huge appetite considering you carry a lunch box. And, not to mention bruises from manoeuvring into awkward sex positions in the car!

Recently, I forgot a pair of sandals in the back of my friend’s car. When I called him, he laughed at the memory of one Sabbath after church with his then wife. She apparently wore flats and changed to heels when they reached church. He remained behind to first gather some strength, considering he had had a hectic night out with beautiful young things.

Then he noticed a pair of women’s sandals in the back of the car and panicked. In a bid to avoid a confrontation, he threw them in the bin.

He then straightened his suit and went into the Lord’s house to enjoy a great sermon, only for the wife to frantically search the entire car for her sandals after church. He, of course, had no idea what she was on about.

He is divorced now, and I still don’t have my pair of sandals back.

For me, it answers the question of men’s frequency at car washes every Sunday.

You find a bearded family man, the father of three kids who desperately crave his time and attention during what should ideally be family time.

He, instead, wears shorts, takes along his best CD collection and heads to the farthest auto cleanser to wait a good three hours to have the car seats and floors vacuumed.

Cheaters become neat freaks, who have mastered the procurement and disposal of all microscopic forensic evidence of their misadventures.


Of course, why not? A cheater’s gonna cheat nevertheless, car-wash or not.

Meffi, chieth. Acknowledge the sos ghasia hukufunzwa referencing?

cheating man? well thats a normal man…sasa keti huukooooooooooo

Juzi a famous old actor stopped his car near my gate and sprayed almost a whole air freshner in his Toyota Noah. We could only laugh with my other half as the importance of whomever he was going to pick.

makena makena makena what did we do to deserve this, where should we pour our libation to absolve us from this scourge?