So the other day Mlinda lango aliingia ofisi mapema kama kawaida, akaweka Masin kwa nafasi yake halafu akaelekea kwa building.
Kufinya button ya lift, nothing doing.
“Imeguama!” that was Wepukhulu our watchman shouting kama fala, hajui etiquette ya leafy suburbs.
Haisuru. Mlinda lango alielekea kwa stairs akachapa mpaka 6th Floor na 12 steps. Hivyo ndio kunaendanga. Hako kaburn kwa mguu kanakuanga kapoa sana. Those who are not allergic to the gym mnajua.
It was an easy Friday, so Mlinda lango alipoa kwa reception akicheki morning news.
Kidogo, secretary ameingia kama amejishikilia kwa ukuta akihema kama doggie. Mlinda lango alishangaa. Alikuwa kitu petite, brown mzuri kutoka Mayakos areas. Jeans ilikuwa imeshika vitu vizuri, na blouse imetoa cleavage vizuri, lakini huyu angewezana na michezo gani? Hata kusema “Good morning Mr Mlinda lango” ilimchukua kama 20 seconds. Fail.
Next, HR/Accountant/Office Manager ndio huyo. Hata kusimama alikuwa ameshindwa. Mattercore ilikuwa kubwa na mingi, pamoja na mapaja na maziwa, kumbe zilikuwa mizigo tu. Alijibwaga tu kwa sofa kama gunia na viazi akihyperventilate kama anajaribu kusema kitu kwa kisap. 6 floors banae. Fail. Alikumbusha Mlinda lango vile, in his young and stupid days, alipandisha momo 3 flights of stairs bamboo ikibidi 5 mins rest after each flight. Kuna watu waliumbwa kuishi ground floor.
Sasa this was the instrument of power kwa ofisi. Akiongea ujue big dog imeongea. It was obvious jamaa alikuwa anakwea mlima, but that was none of Mlinda lango’s business, as long as shilingi zilikuwa zinaingia as per matarajio.
Kuitwa kwa ofisi ya HR ilikuwa inanikumbusha story ya mfungwa mmoja pale Naivasha prison vile alitoboa siri za jela. Wafungwa wanaulizwa nani anataka kuona Madam Afisaa wa welfare, wanaelewa.
Madam Afisaa ati alikuwa na mattercore na mapaja mzuri sana, so mfungwa anatoa 1500 Madam “anampiga kioo”, i.e. anafungua mapaja, mfungwa anajibamba. 5k unaongezewa time. 15k unapewa chot (150 calabash, 15k jela @cortedivoire ).
Back to the story. Madam Afisaa HR wetu alikuwa na tabia na kuvaa nguo tight tight sana. Siku za kwanza Mlinda lango alikuwa anateseka na masemi-hard za ovyo kila wakati mpaka akazoea.
At some point kuna kaurafiki kalikuwa kameanza kuchukua mkondo mbaya between Madam Afisaa HR na Mlinda lango, lakini Mlinda lango alijifunza haraka mali ya mkubwa hailiwi hivi hivi, though hiyo ni hekaya ya siku ingine. Just in case you’re wondering, kulikuwa na nudity, polisi na threats kalikali involved hapo ndani. Lakini Mlinda lango pia si mchache. Ako na immunity kiasi so although anaezasumbuliwa na kutishwa, akifutwa anaenda na ofisi juu ofisi si nyumba, ni clients ghaseer. So there was a ceasefire, watu wakaheshimiana.
Powerplay na huyo msimama (msichana in the process of transitioning into mumama akichezea thate hapo) ilikuwa complicated na a bit intoxicating. She was too free with Mlinda lango. Ati “My machine has a problem Mlinda lango, please come check it out”. Mlinda lango akienda kuangalia anaona tu ni skirt imevutwa juu mpaka mwisho, msimama analean back kwa kiti, mapaja yellow yellow zikiita Mlinda lango polepole.
“What’s the problem?”
“I think it’s now ok.” lakini habadilishi position.
Mlinda lango anajikumbusha huu ni moto wa kuotea mbali.
“Shall I get the tech guy?”
Kindani, Mlinda lango ameudhika kuchezewa, kazi za kutengeneza machine ni za akina @Electronics4u banae, mimi ni mtu wa maana sana hapa na time yangu haifai kupotezwa ovyo ovyo, lakini hakumind kuona mapaja.
Next, tea-girl/cleaner/cook, kitu mzuri haijapita 22 yrs ikaingia. “Sasa Mr Mlinda lango!”
Mlinda lango was about to say, sasa ni wewe? Kwani unaona ni kama tunatoshana huku? Sema Good morning Mr Mlinda lango banae. Lakini Mlinda lango akasema tu “Poa Susan”.
Just then, Mlinda lango alinotice tea-girl hakuwa anahema hata kidogo. Eh, hii kitu iko fit banae. Akaanza kuona ni kama mechi inaezalast full 90 minutes. Eh, Pass banae.
Tea-girl vile alitokezea kutoka changing room kama amevaa uniform, Mlinda lango akanotice vile huwa imemkaza kiasi kwa hips ikitoa contours za tumbo na mattercore.
Mlinda lango akakemea pepo lakini tea-girl akakuja kuokota waste paper basket. Akiinama Mlinda lango akaona burungo excess kwa kifua bila kutarajia, Bwana Abdallah akagutuka, akiuliza kwani kuna nini?
Tea-girl akamuona akicheki, Mlinda lango akajifanya alikuwa anaangalia ceiling. Tea-girl kuelekea, Mlinda lango aliangalia chini lakini mesho zikajiinua akaona panty line na tudimples dimples, Abdallah akauliza kama standards zimeshuka officially tuingie job ama nini inaendelea.
Sasa Mlinda lango inabidi akemee pepo kila asubuhi since ni kama aibu inakaribia. Hii kitu ya 22 years ni kama imenusa dollar. Asubuhi ni kuosha ofisi ya Mlinda lango kwanza, kuinamainama ovyo mbele ya Mlinda lango, Kuletea Mlinda lango cinnamon tea na biscuits, kuficha mapaja ya kuku kwa cafeteria ndio ipatie Mlinda lango.
Sasa hapa kutaendaje?
