Watoto wa watu wengine.
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๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐๐๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ Kangz: ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐ก๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ฌ๐ก ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐๐ง
Chinonye Juliet Mkpurumma sent me a screenshot recently that I havenโt been able to stop thinking about.
It was from a woman responding to the question, โWhatโs the craziest thing your ex ever did?โ
She said,
โHe left his child he had with another woman and disappeared. Now I am a single mother of a child I didnโt birth.โ
You almost have to applaud the choreography. Because that is not a breakup โ thatโs an exorcism.
The man left, the baby stayed, and somehow she became the stepmother, nanny, and emotional rehabilitation center all in one.
And of course, the man probably didnโt arrive empty-handed. He came armed with a sob story. Every man who has ever been married or had a child becomes a tragic hero when trying to woo the next woman. Heโll tell you his ex was wicked, that she took his child, that all he wanted was to be a โgood father.โ
Cue tears, trembling voice, and you โ in your male worshipping mammydom โ become the latest volunteer in the global relief mission called saving men from themselves.
Thatโs how women end up taking care of babies they didnโt birth. They mistake trauma bonding for intimacy, pity for partnership, and manipulation for honesty.
โธป
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ง๐ก๐๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ง
Itโs a pattern I recognized in my own life.
My father did it to my mother โ took me away, not out of love, but out of vengeance.
Thatโs what these bandits do. They weaponize children to wound women. They claim fatherhood like property, then abandon it like clutter.
I grew up in and out of homes โ some safe, some not. Sometimes invisible, sometimes treated like a servant. Always displaced. Always paying for someone elseโs ego.
Thatโs the legacy of male pride: childrenโgirls raised in exile from their mothers, sons trained to repeat the cycle, and women blamed for trying to survive it.
โธป
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐ง๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฏ๐
Let me tell you about another woman.
She got married and couldnโt have children on time. Then one day, her husband showed up with three little boys โ children he had fathered outside their marriage with another woman.
He said, โTheir mother died. I need to raise them. Can you help me?โ
And because women are conditioned to love through suffering, she said yes. She paid school fees, bought food, held them when they were sick โ until one day, the same man who cheated on her and begged her to raise his children simply disappeared.
Vanished.
Off to live with another woman.
Yet she continued to mother those boys. Because women have been taught that endurance is virtue and that responsibility is our inheritance, even for the sins of men.
โธป
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐๐ก๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ฌ
Men like this donโt take children because they love them โ they take them to punish the women who left. And then they donโt even raise them.
They hand them off to other people โ to girlfriends, to sisters, his mean mommy and to the next woman who believes sheโs special.
Itโs not fatherhood; itโs a relay race of irresponsibility.
Heโll say, โI took the child.โ But what he really means is, โI took the weapon.โ
โธป
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐ก๐ โ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐งโ
And when the child grows up, he reappears online, typing with pride:
โNo matter what their mother did, Iโll always love my kids.โ
Sir, you didnโt even love your electricity bill. Relax. TF?
Then enter the Male Worshipping Squad, ndแป รฒtรน Chineke Daalu โ the Super-Mammies, the Mother Theresas of Lost Causes, the Saint Fix-A-Men and Emotional Aid Workers of patriarchy.
They gather in the comments to say, โAt least heโs trying,โ โMen make mistakes too,โ โWomen are the ones keeping fathers from their kids.โ
No, maโam. He kept himself away. You are defending a bandit. Shโt!
These men only love their children as long as they have access to the mother. Once she stops taking their calls or offering sympathy, they stop pretending to be fathers.
โธป
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐ข๐
Letโs retire the excuse that he โdoesnโt have money.โ
If women can bleed monthly, work through pregnancy, raise children, and still find a way to survive โ then men can too.
These men arenโt broke; theyโre spoiled. Theyโre not poor; theyโre allergic to accountability. They weaponize poverty like itโs a moral defense.
Theyโre not broke โ theyโre funded by womenโs guilt.
Theyโre not broke when theyโre popping champagne in VIP sections, trying to prove theyโre โthe man.โ
Theyโre not broke when theyโre wearing designer clothes, taking selfies in rented cars, or showing off online.
Theyโre not broke when itโs time to do Dorime at big events โ when the music starts and everyoneโs doing dick-measuring contests with bundles of cash, competing over who can spray the most money.
Theyโre not broke when theyโre at strip clubs or throwing money at temporary affection.
Theyโre not broke when itโs time to perform masculinity.
They only become broke when itโs time to send child support.
They only become broke when responsibility calls their name.
These men never run out of money for validation โ only for obligation.
The same ones living soft lives on borrowed image will tell you, โMy baby mama wonโt let me see my kids.โ
Suddenly, they transform into poets of victimhood:
โSheโs bitter.โ
โSheโs wicked.โ
โShe kept the children from me.โ
No, sir. You kept yourself from them.
You were never broke โ you were just selective about what you invested in.
And of course, thereโs a whole class of gold-digging bandits โ men who live off women like professional parasites, fathering children they have no intention of raising.
They are the global pump-and-dump brigade: men who sow irresponsibility and call it โbeing polygamous by nature.โ
They donโt build families; they leave wreckage.
They donโt lead; they leech.
Meanwhile, itโs women who have ATMs in their wombs.
Itโs women who have grocery stores at the back of their houses.
Itโs women who figure out how to pay tuition with urine.
Itโs women who make magic happen with spit.
Women conjure survival from thin air โ while men are out here pretending to be broke because accountability doesnโt trend.
These are not poor men.
They are men rich in audacity, bankrupt in character.
โธป
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฌ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ง๐๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ก๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐ก ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฌ
To the women who keep raising other womenโs children for absentee men โ this is not compassion. Itโs codependency and foolishness dressed as virtue.
You are not his redemption arc; youโre his get-out-of-karma-free card.
Every time you mother a manโs abandoned child, you delay his accountability. Every time you believe his sob story, you fund the next womanโs misery.
But of course, you donโt care โ because you want to be picked.
You think youโre special.
You think youโre the exception to the rule, the one he wonโt do dirty.
So there you are, rubbing his chest and whispering, โOh my God, women are so wicked.โ
You echo his pain to earn his approval.
You mistake alignment with wisdom and call it love.
Soon, we find you in the comment sections โ
writing essays about how โmen suffer too.โ
Declaring that โwomen emotionally abuse menโ โ followed, of course, by your favorite qualifier: โSome but not all.โ
Youโre everywhere.
Posting online.
Posting glowing selfies captioned with recycled affirmations.
Curating desperation with ring-light confidence.
Wearing โPick Meโ like perfume.
Everywhere you go, your message is the same:
โLook at me. Iโm different. Iโm special. Look at me.โ
But you are not different. You are merely a sucker to be licked. He will still chew you up and spit you out like old gum. To bandits, women are to be pumped and dumped.
Duhโฆ
Love is not charity work. Empathy without boundaries is unpaid labor for patriarchy.
You are not the Red Cross for emotionally displaced men.
Stop volunteering for pain. Stop applying to be Saint Fix-A-Man, Super-Mammy, or Mother Theresa of Lost Causes.
Stop auditioning for the Church of Rehabilitation Wives.
Heโs not a mission field. Heโs a cautionary tale.
โธป
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ณ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ ๐๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐๐ง ๐๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐๐ก๐๐ข๐ซ ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฌ
If he fought to take the child, let him raise the child.
Let him learn what sleepless nights smell like.
Let him discover the cost of formula and the mystery of school fees.
Let him hustle for once โ not emotionally, but financially.
Stop letting men weaponize our children against us. Stop letting them outsource parenting and then collect glory when itโs convenient.
Some of you are out here paying child support for a trash-bag bandit โ a kang who absolutely refuses to provide for his child, deliberately refuses to keep a job, and survives by bouncing from one warm bed to another, collecting pity and pocket money. Taking in hobosexuals because you think he will be grateful.
Youโre out here shedding hot tears for a bandit, bankrolling a grown dependent, funding his soft life while he tweets about โstrong, independent women.โ
These are the same gold-digging bandits I mentioned earlier โ men who treat women like walking ATMs, who father children for sport and disappear before the ink on the birth certificate dries.
Youโre not helping him rebuild; youโre underwriting his irresponsibility.
We have built too many homes out of ashes. Itโs time they learn to build something out of consequence.
โธป
๐๐จ๐งโ๐ญ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ฆ๐ฉ๐๐ญ๐ก๐ฒ
Iโve said it before and Iโll say it again: women should never feel sorry for men.
Empathy is not a virtue when itโs used as a leash.
And love without discernment is how women end up mothering the whole world while dying of emotional malnutrition.
So the next time a man shows up with his tragic backstory and somebody elseโs child, smile politely, and say:
โNot taday, Kang.โ
Because the audacity of men is endless.
But the era of female self-sacrifice is over.
โธป
Save your money.
Put it in stocks, bonds, land โ anything that appreciates while you rest.
Invest it in your peace.
Go on trips.
Get stamps in your passport.
Buy yourself a home โ even if itโs small, let it have your name on it.
Give to charity.
Sponsor a girlโs education.
Start a business.
Hell, throw it in the air and let the wind feed the sky.
Just donโt give it to a bandit.
Donโt sponsor your own destruction.
Donโt finance your oppressor and call it love.
Donโt waste your hard-earned money propping up a man who would let you burn and still call himself โa good one.โ
And while youโre at it, save your energy too.
Stop pouring it into men who drain you dry and call it masculinity.
Stop mothering adult males and mistaking exhaustion for intimacy.
Stop offering emotional CPR to men who flatline every time accountability enters the room.
Save your energy for your dreams, your healing, your legacy, your joy.
Because every ounce of energy you waste on a man who wonโt rise will be the same energy youโll need to rebuild yourself later.
Spend your money and your energy on peace, not pity.
On expansion, not endurance.
On purpose, not pain.
Because if youโre going to invest in anything, let it be you.
#TheAudacityOfMen #Women2025 #SaintFixAMan #MotherOfBandits #DontWasteYourEmpathy #OyinnaOgbonnaแปsแปndแปOwendแป
