So, sometime back when I was a mbashara, we used to live with this guy who was also a brother in christ. I am a Pentecostal so you probably know I don’t get drunk, and you are wrong. This brother, we used to go clubing, chasing girls and did everything together during the week and go to church together on sunday. Mind you, he was the youth vice chair.
My friend had a girlfriend, a kambondian who was also the youth secretary and was the very definition of beauty. To say that I didn’t drool at her ass will be a lie, and lying is a sin, isn’t it? and I am saved, am I not?
Now, we used to live in a single room somewhere in Kenlands Nakuru in a plot famed as plot 10. Every known sin in sincity was bound to happen in plot ten, but eating of absentia husbands’ wives was the most rampant. Yours truly found it most enjoyable and least risky. Ok, I used to repent on sunday, so don’t look at me with those judging eyes just because I sinned differently from you.
One day my friend’s girl came to visit and all signs were that she would spend the night. This meant that after dinner, I had to make myself disappear to whichever corner of the world I chose to. Twas fine, at least this one looked like a serious relationship juu kama ni kunguru singetoka huko. As the night progressed, an argument ensued and philip in a burst of tempers, slapped his girl sending her hurling to the bed. He then walked out banging the door behind him. The girl cried and as a gentleman and brother in christ, I tried to console her.
" Sister Monica, please find peace in your heart. It is not christian that he hit you that hard."
" My brother, I have tried to torelate this but it is too much. I think I will have to act. Kesho naambia pastor amuongeleshe."
So I smell a rat. Huyu atasema alipigiwa wapi, akifanya nini? I knew my friend had gone for a smoke and it would be an hour before he returns. The devil never sleeps, he was all eyes especially this night.
The fact that I was holding her and she laying on my chest didn’t help much. In short, I got an erection that was harder that I had ever had. My heart started beating like a hundred and seventy three times a minute and my temperatures climbed to levels unknown. With her breastices pressing against me, I rubbed her back and she looked up. I swear I heard her invite me to a romp and a romp we had.
Now fellow villagers, I have eaten, luo puthy, Kalenjin puthy, luhya, kikuyu, meru, kamba, fat, thin, white, name them. But how I felt with this one, will be a story I will tell my grandchildren. My vas deferens nearly burst. My pulmonary artery couldn’t fathom the reason why blood flew through it at such speeds.
I can proudly say, I have been to heaven and back and this is my advice, brothers, seek ye the kingdom!! I felt so good that I thanked her profusely afterwards till the boyfriend asked what I was thanking her for. She replied that we had an intense fellowship and she had offered to cook pilau once they reconciled… They did and we ate pilau.
