Went out for a few dates with him … nothing major, just some quick lunch dates in between work until last week when I came back to civilization and we had a major date. Started with a coffee all through to lunch. I must admit that i’ve been kinda getting attracted to him… he gets my humour, he’s in a different career field so we both get hooked on to each other’s career stories, he got brains and a heart to match and to me he’s like a bogan Oprah, he’s not demanding, he’s muscly; just the way I like them and damn; he has got the perfect hair. Hmmmmm….
So, during our date, we happened to talk about food and he mentioned that he makes the best Osso Bucco in the history of osso buccos. I love eating as some of you already know and just like that he offered to make me some osso bucco for me this Saturday. The whole week I’ve been eagerly waiting for this day more than how @Purr_27 is awaiting the coming of Jesus Christ. I even bought some new intimates just in case my lady parts happen to talk to him in a foreign language.
I had to go to work till 11am then head to his place, take a shower there as he finishes his cooking. Woke up with this new energy, all excited. Why would I not be anyway?. After all this time, I’ve got 99.8% chances of having a penie poke me. A REAL penie all controlled by all those neurotrasmitters and not some batteries, a REAL penie with REAL blood flowing through REAL arteries and everything. OH my God! I’m gonna cry. This is really a huge deal for me and I’m hoping his penie is also huge as well. Fingers crossed for me.
I head to his house and he lives in this perfect neighbourhood, which matches his perfect hair. We hug, do the usual pleasantries that humans do yadda yadda yaddda. FF, he pulls me on his lap and I start running my fingers through his perfect hair; I have been waiting to do that since the first day we met. I can feel his balls wrapping themselves in a bow before nestling gently enabling the penie to rise definitely awaiting further instructions. I silently say a few Hallelujahs coz I can tell he ain’t no Patco member. I let out a cheeky smile knowing that I still got it. I can still turn on a man without much effort.
I excuse myself to go have a shower. I have a habit of making use of my anal sphincters before I have a shower and today was no different. After a while, he knocks at the bathroom door and he’s like “babe, if you have to use the toilet, please use the one upstairs, there’s something wrong with this but the plumber will come have a look at it next week”. Oh shit!..literally. I just say ok and my anal sphincters just went numb and my facial expression sits somewhere between constipation and disbelief. I just did my final touches, closed the toilet bowl, opened the toilet door slightly and as soon as I heard him going upstairs, I run out of the house, drove off and switched off my phone. Just can’t be able to face him after leaving what I left behind. I don’t even feel like going to my house coz he might come over looking for me and I just can’t face him. At the moment I’m sitting outside Mcdonalds using their free wifi as I figure out what my next step will be.
…and that is how Mr. muscly guy and his perfect hair did not become the father of my kids. OR DID HE?
a whole new meaning to the ‘Walk of Shame’. But it wasn’t that bad anyway