The Nairobi Shoe Cleaning Scam
So today I was tricked 6times, into cleaning my shoes on the streets of Nairobi, let me tell u how it all went down.
U know how it is when you’re hustling up & down, in closed shoes, so I decided to put on crocks, naye the heat, the dust, the stress, my white Crocs were suffering. I figured I would do what we do in Kampala, look for a shoe cleaner, Someone pointed me to a small shade where men were lining up to have their shoes cleaned, Lining up? For a shoe shine? Eeh, this was suspicious, but curiosity got me.
As I waited, I noticed about ten ladies, all seated, carefully working on the men’s shoes & on the men themselves, Inside me, I smiled, was this my lucky day?
Now it was my turn, a lady welcomed me warmly, her eyes scanning me like I was some exotic Somali breed, She had me sit, took my shoes & dunked them into a basin of water, then she hit me with, What can I get you to drink?
Eh 
Shoe cleaning comes with a menu? My love for Minute Maid Mango betrayed me instantly 
As I sipped my juice, I started wondering, Is this normal shoe cleaning or is there a recruitment happening here? These well built ladies, what was their mission? But before I could process anything, she had finished cleaning my shoes and moved to phase 2 of the operation.
She lifted my trousers, gently placed my legs in warm water, & started washing them with a tenderness that made me question my entire dating history, why I didn’t get this treat 
I was all smiles, but as soon as she touched under my feet, I twitched. Eh, don’t touch there, I said, giggling like a baby 
, She just smiled knowingly, as if she had seen this reaction many, many times before.
Then, just when I thought we were done, boom, she pulled out nail clippers, now she was cutting my toenails, Eh, I looked around to make sure I hadn’t accidentally entered a salon , mwe nga bitufu am at shoe cleaning place ,
So She shaped my nails, brought out some fancy buffer, then smoothly transitioned into the main event,
The foot massage 
My friend, 30 minutes per leg, gamba otyoooooo
Calls were coming in, my phone was vibrating, but I hit busy each time, who was I to interrupt such a service? She rubbed massage oil on my feet, slowly, deliberately, passing my feet on her chest like she was checking my reaction, I won’t lie I failed to remain strong 
When she finished, she took a warm towel, wiped my feet, applied Johnson oil & like a true professional, helped me put on my sandals.
I don’t even remember how much I paid, I just know that I paid.
As I was leaving, I noticed something odd,some of the men who were ahead of me in line were back, aganaga owa FDC Eh? How had their shoes gotten dirty so fast?
I went downtown, did my business, but then a little voice inside me whispered, ur shoes are dirty, Go back, otyoooo
Guys, I went back
After lunch, some lady stepped on my foot, I sprinted 
back
All I know is, by the time I left town, my shoes were sparkling clean, my feet were softer than a baby’s & my wallet was significantly lighter
Nairobi streets, I respect u 