So recently someone I have known for years told me she’s leaving her job, 3 small kids and husband in Kenya to pursue life in Canada after getting the visa. I was alarmed as I did not feel like her situation is that dire. She is not doing badly but she told me wants a better future for her kids and her chances of getting that in Kenya are looking grim.
Another one is a single mother who is leaving her small son for the same Canadian visa saying her own mom left her when she was a kid to go to America . I feel like a times when the situation is dire its OK but if you are not destitute it’s really unfair to deny your kids that motherly love in the formative years. I know so many kids who grew up with their moms abroad working. And it really affected them. So I am usually against it. It’s better if it’s the dad especially if the kids are under 12. That duration requires alot of motherly love.
With the tough times ahead many will have to make tough decisions but kids are being left behind too early in life. Just saying.
I know a few people who were left by moms when they were very small. It affects them very badly. I have several friends going on that Canadian visa and they all have kids. They actually all have decent jobs, own homes, it’s not like they are poor.
I will tell you 2 cases I know though this ladies did it out of anger and frustration . A lady found out the husband is with another woman, they all 3 came from same ocha, so she made plans to go to the states, without telling anyone the last born was in diapers and she still left. Never been back. Not even for her firstborns funeral. Those guys drink alot.
Case 2 the guy married with 4 kids impregnated a coastal lady with twins. And the wife got fed up took the kids to him and flew out. The coastal lady kuona the guy is now a single dad. She dumped her own twins at his house and married a baggage free man who has money. The guy is now a single dad of 6.
Gone are the days ladies would never leave their kids behind. They are becoming men. If you don’t bring money. They leave you with the kids ulee as they look for money abroad. Things are thick.
This thing of going your own way should be for people without kids. When you have kids you can’t just do what ever the hell you want, their welfare must come first.
Mimi husema kama uko fiti hapa mtaani hakuna haja ya kwenda majuu…it sets you back alot…then after paying the high bills, working 2 to 3 jobs, eating unhealthy foods unaona better tu mtaani stress free life…if those diaspora guys could tell the truth…majuu iko overrated…BP yao huwa juu most of the time…kuchunishwa mboga na system ya walami ndio zao
Kenyans are going to Canada hio visa is the latest fad. If you are single its OK but kuacha watoi wadogo especially if you are the mom si poa. Furthermore many middle class Kenyans are used to very easy life here. You have house help and you work a regular 8 to 5 with free weekends and holidays ikifika festive season free 2 weeks holiday. Now mambo ya working 2 to 3 jobs. Doing your own housework especially if you have small kids, negative influence of western culture on your kids. It’s a good thing when you are right out of school. Young. No kids. No job. But in your 40s or even 30s leave your young kids behind. Quit your job. I think you can do other things to make money that are less disruptive. Especially to your kids.
My sister went to the US (1999) and left two young boys with her husband. Husband remarried and my nephews drink like there’s no tomorrow. Not worth worth it!
A husband is really neither here nor there but your kids. If you are going then just go with them coz without a mother most kids never develop well. Men just let kids do what they want. I know a lady who went when her kids were in high school and they were in boarding. She went worked and returned after ten or so years. And the man was OK with it since he was sickly himself. But leaving small kids is not wise. Kids without moms can get out of control coz no one is watching them closely.
Maybe that’s why I don’t. Because I care. About kids. People who don’t are actually more sensitive. You don’t know that? You guys are battle hardened. Dump your own children and never meet them again. I know some couples both parents left the kids. Wakaenda majuu. Like unaacha mtoto akiwa kwa diaper and you never even attend their funeral. Like is that caring to you. Do you need to be married and have your own kids to see there’s something terrible about that? I just feel bad for the kids bcz I’ve seen this storyline enough times. The kids suffer no matter how much money you throw at them. It’s just being human. If your mom raised you why do this to your kids. It’s now going to Christmas. You are in Canada your kids have no mom for Christmas. Like I think humans have lost their humanity. Because of the love of money. Its happened to people I know people Older than me, they’ve never been able to get over it. Money is even more important than your children. You can’t even attend your own children funeral. Gosh!
Having children and being married does not make you a good human being. I’ve told you of the story of a mother who has completed abandoned her twin boys bcz their dad abandoned her. She provides but she got married and even comes to Kenya and leaves with out telling them. She buys them property but will holiday with her daughter and husband at the Coast and not even call them. That is married people and parents for you. They do things that as a single child free person you are like what? Who does that? The kids are innocent and they should not have to pay for their father. But married childrend folk seem to think that just getting married and popping out a kid automatically makes them morally superior. Well Hitler was married. Musolini had children. Idi Amin had several wives and children. Did that make their moral compass any better?
It really isn’t overrated but I wouldn’t advocate leaving kids behind. If you can, try and bring your kids, if not, bora ukae home. Apart from the usual stress of being and adopting to a foreign countr, maisha iko tu sawa. Unhealthy food yawa, completely untrue. There is a variety of foods available from every continent and it’s way to nice. Food standards work, in fact mos things work like they should. All said and done; it really depends on your situation in Kenya. East or west, home is best.
Looking for a better life is great but don’t sacrifice your children. You can have both. It’s not either your kids or the money. You can do a compromise so that it’s a win win. It’s really painful to know your mom is alive but you can’t be with her especially when you are a kid. I have been close to people like this. They have alot of bitterness. ALOT.
You can’t judge people’s financial situations by a cursory outward glance. I have a step cousin married to a lawyer, 2 kids. She was college educated, very pretty and had a professional job too. By all means they appeared successful living in their own house in Ngong, family car, nice clothes. They looked rich going by the image they portrayed to the world.
You can imagine my surprise when I heard she had decided to go underground in the US working odd jobs. The only jobs available to illegals are low cadre jobs like janitorial work, care jobs etc. She up and left her hubby and two small kids in primary school. I don’t get it. Her dad was pretty wealthy too. Well, that was an assumption. Maybe what your friend owns was purchased via loan and one of them has to make a sacrifice or their property gets auctioned. That’s actually what happened. They lived a precarious life and the banks were closing in. Their dad had married his mistress, got 3 kids and transferred all valuable assets to his new wife thereby disinheriting them. I learnt not to count people’s money based on outward appearances. Maybe this was the only choice or they all sink financially.
The husband works for one of the blue chips and her parents bought her a 6 br house cash. It’s just this thing of midlife crisis. Same job like 20 years straight ouuta high school no growth and then the fad came of Canada visas. Her bffs are going. The other one I know lives in Karen. She is a single mom of one kid. She even turned down a promotion. It’s just that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow when you feel your life is stuck. But the kids are really small. If they were in upper primary Id have no objection but formative years are so sensitive they can make and break a child. A times not all movement is progress.
in Canada is harsh. So tell her to buy the best winter clothes, recommended for that region.