south c is fucked up.
this chic once invited me over for supper and a sleepover. nikam na pizza 1/1, kfc, 4chips, na 2L coke etc etc
nikifika she is a muslim and she has like 5 other room-mates including a dude (maybe a pimp)
am like wtf have i just walked in to. ata sikutoa viatu ni kushtuka.
am over there looking so frightened…
she tells me to have a sit… where?? the floor! (yeah muslims are wierd like that)
am like “no… am good here at the door”
she asks me “na wapi kuku yangu…”
so i hand her the bags. and she leaves to another room…
napiga survey naona there is no way am getting laid up in this bish
akirudi i tell her tutoke nje there is something i wana tell her
we go out and i literally show her all the shit she had been texting ati anaishi solo&lonely, she is hungry blah blah blah (NO MENTION OF CASH/TOKEN WHATSOEVER)
KUMBE NI MALAYA.!! She tells me yeah she has a room anaishi solo na kulala ni 2500
As u all know i dont pay for puss (the only way u get cash from a prxn like me is stealing, food, fare) so i just tell her to give me my stuff back nirudi home coz ni late…
She just turns around and walked back into the house.
So it took me a while to realise she wasnt coming back. Eventually nilijirudisha mtaani blue balls at 10ish
MORAL OF THE STORY: Never attend away games. EVER
HOW I WON: This bish probably ate and pooped the next day. But i got laid later that month for free by some other chic & recovered that amount in like 2 days.
Lakini hizo mapaja za huyu muislamu zilikua kubwa
Actually hiyo gate ya black ndiyo place yeye huishi
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Dude Seriously ? You bought food and drinks for a random prostitute, took to her crib, fed her and her crowd (including ndumes- pimps, customers… ) tucked tail went home ??? Is that about right?? But hey you went BACK for paid consolation sex?! and you upload that s.hit for the whole world to know ???
Hahaha. When the deal is too good think thrice. Kisha you are very licky. What if she hosted you and then her gang arrived at the wee hours of the night to milk some good cash from you.
It happened to a friend he met a girl in a matatu wakaanza story a few minutes later akapewa number a few days later the girl invited him to her place. Jamaa akaenda the lady lived in a small one bedroom huko Eastleigh and she barely had any furniture na vile alikua anajifanya high class, sasa baada ya jamaa kupiga msichana kuni msichana akaanza nduru “Umenitomba lazima ulipe pesa ya hio shot kuma si bure. Who told you vagina is for free”. To make matters worse the lady had several male accomplices just outside the room walifumania huyo jamaa wakamtoa viatu za Lacoste, mshipi ya snakeskin, simu na pesa. Tulikuja kugundua huyo dame anafanya kazi pale Citrus Ngara.My point is this watu wanafaa wajichunge when meeting someone for the first time and when alarm bells go off don’t ignore them.
Inaitwa Nairobi Shuffle.Unaendea kuma bila intel.hujui kama ni kwa bwanake ama umepangiwa…[SIZE=4]ulizaliwa in the provinces ama? [/SIZE][SIZE=1]Asking for cyrus jirongo ameboeka cell akaniambia nikuulize[/SIZE]