so today i step into a kibanda with a colleague. You find yourselves seats near this noisy couple. Okay, it is the woman who is noisy. But maybe she is representing him. She is a relatively large woman and he a smaller man. She could easily have beaten him to pulp if he was the subject of her wrath. But he wasn’t. The assistant at the kibanda was.
“Wewe leta chai haraka!” she roars. Sorry trumpets. Okay, thing is, her voice is as menacing as a lion’s roar, but as loud as an elephant’s trumpet. What do you call that?
The girl comes and takes away their plates. Then she comes back and starts wiping the table.
“Na si ulete chai? Shida yako nini? Hizi tabia sipendi!”
The girl ignores her and continues wiping the table. Then she disappears and brings two cups and places then the table. Then she disappears again presumably to bring the tea.
“Leta maji msichana. Watu wanakula na huwezi waletea maji, lazima uambiwe?” she yells.
The girl comes back with a flask and pours tea into their cups. She is so calm that you are impressed. She goes away just as the mama sips the tea.and my eyes stick to her behind…i dont want to think beyond the blue skirt.
“Ayayaya!” She yells. “Hii matusi gani tena? Chai bila sukari. Mimi siwezi kunywa chai bila sukari. Hata ni heri ikae. Hebu kuja wewe!”
The girl returns with a sugar dish.poor girl,all ths time my eyes on her.she still looks composed and i wonder if she ever gets angry.
“Hata kama ni kununuliwa tumenunuliwa si kusema utupee chai bila sukari” the woman yells at the girl, while the man nods.
Wait, what? ati kununuliwa?You can’t resist a smile at this point. Really, if this woman was the one buying, this girl would be jobless by now. She would have fired her and given the owner money to hire another. On the spot. But this girl must have gone for morning prayers today. And so this woman doesn’t have the money. Just a loud voice and some obscenities to throw around.
That’s why I’ve never bought that “Customer is king/always right” crap. I don’t care how much you’re spending, if you’re disrespectful I’ll show you the door.
some people are/ were born nasty…
one fine saturday morning i went to buy some pork chops at Gilani’s butchery in Nakuru. it was just one of those Saturday mornings you are feeling on top of the world and you feel like giving yourself a treat. after making my selection i went to pay but there was already another customer at the till; a heavily pregnant lady staring at a spot high up on the far wall. she had bought an assortment of meats and when the old mhindi lady cashier stretched out her hand for money - her bill was over five K - she didn’t notice and the old lady cleared her throat and read out the figure on the till. the customer still did not budge , that’s when i impulsively touched her elbow and told her unaambiwa ulipe. the woman alinigeukia angry na kuniuliza unaniambia nilipe kwani unanilipia? wanaume huwa mnajiona namna gani and so on…by this time my adrenaline ilikuwa imepanda and my right hand was shaking…itching to give her a “you slapped me kidero!” but maybe it was the ka-bulging stomach that prevented me from tipping over at that critical point when the hand acquires a life of its own and you are left wondering what did i do.
i pocketed my hand and stepped back and she was still shouting hysterically…i leaned on a deep freezer and just looked at her. then she stopped suddenly mid-sentence and started hyperventilating so fast she had to lean on the counter. everyone in the shop was at a standstill. then she suddenly fished into her purse, produced a credit card and paid for her shopping, then walked out. it was then that everyone broke into pole mzee and kwani umemfanya nini…
i paid for my ka-half kg of chops…outside i found her leaning on the bonnet of a defender puking her breakfast. i had mixed feelings whether to gloat or feel pity…
had such a female colleague…il day alichujwa job tea lady alikam kwa ofisi akisema Mungu halali…kweli mambo kangaja huenda yakaja, na yakija tutakula nyama ya mapaja(or in this case tutapumua virahisi)
Huko ocha kulikuwa na buda Fulani alikuwa hapendangi ujinga. Watu walikuwa wanamwogopa sana. Interestingly, bibi yake alikuwa MTU nyenyenye na ugomvi kila Siku but hakuna kitu mzee alikuwa anamfanya. Ikafika time watu wakaanza eti amekaliwa chapo.
Siku moja budaa kurudi home, wife akaanza kelele na kumtusi. Jamaa akajitoa home polepole kama amekunja mkia huku majirani wakimchekelea. Ninja was gone for barely 10 minutes akarudi na kiboko ya bamboo. Ile vita mwanamke alionwa ustake jua. Mpaka was Leo, jamaa akiwa home wife huwezi msikia.
