Humblebrag
[SIZE=5] noun:[/SIZE]
An ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.
[SIZE=5] verb:[/SIZE]
Make an ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement with the actual intention of drawing attention to something of which one is proud: [I]she humblebragged about how ‘awful’ she looks without any make-up.
Subtly letting others know about how fantastic your life is while undercutting it with a bit of self-effacing humor or “woe is me” gloss.
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I was watching an episode of Real Time With Bill Maher a while ago and they were discussing one of the Republican debates when the issue of humble bragging cropped up. For one to make it in politics, I think one has to master the art of humble bragging. You’ve all come across a politician claiming the reason they decided to join politics was so they could use “my enormous intelligence and wealth to fight for the rights of the downtrodden in society”.
Anyone who’s had to go for a job interview has had to humble brag, because at some point a member of the panel asks the (retarded) question, “So, what are some of your weaknesses?”. Like seriously, why do potential employers ask this silly question? Do they expect one to actually list their weakness(es)? Ati sasa uulizwe weakness yako na wewe pia uropokwe vile “I’m very lazy”? I remember I was once asked this question. My answer was “I’m a perfectionist (the brag) but sadly (this is where you show some humility) this quest for perfection means sometimes I waste a lot of time on projects .” In short, I was informing those fucckers that if there was a Procrastination Hall of Fame, I’d be inducted into it faster than it takes a Kardashian to jump on a random black cock.
I also remember something that happened back in college. One day we were taking lunch, there were around five of us, all boys. As inevitably happens with young adult men, the conversation turned into a bragging contest. Everyone started bragging about all the girls they had banged. Except this one dude. Finally, everyone turned to him, you know, coz he had been quiet the entire time. He finally dropped a bombshell. He was still a virgin. While we were still fathoming this unexpected turn of events, he went ahead to explain to us why. Ati he had such a huge deek, that every time he got the chance to fucck a girl (he assured us this happened frequently), the girls simply freaked out at the sight of his cock. They were concerned (and rightly so, he insisted) of the very real possibility of his ginormous cock wreaking damage on their lady parts and rendering them barren. Since they all planned on experiencing the joys of motherhood, they all fled the minute he unzipped. That’s why he was still a virgin. It was through no fault of his own.
So tell me, unless you are Atwoli, how the fuck do you ask for mbisha or any other evidence, in such a situation? We were all forced to accept that the fuccker had the biggest deek in college. Tukasema Isorait, hapa tumecheswo lakini ni sawa tu. Mungu halali.
Anyway, back to my question. How do you mofos humble brag?
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