SJ Chronicle 2

Last week I was scheduled to visit a site outside Nairobi. As the norm for long trips we were to meet behind hilton to pick a van. The departure time was 6 am.

I arrived on time only to find i was the first one and everyone else was an african timer. Earliest we could depart was 7 am. Nikaona Acha natafute place ya kunywa chai.

Walking past kencom, I saw my favourite restaurant and decided to take tea there. Funny enough, the bar was crowded with both lanyes and patrons. Minding my own business, I went to the restaurant, sat at the far end overlooking kencom and ordered chai + mandazi.

After a few a lanye walked into the restaurant, nikamuangalia and didnā€™t pay much thought to her. Mara that that, she comes to sit near me.
She was drunk, eyes red, make up imeisha isha,(lipstick haiko evenly applied, one fake eye lashes missing ), broken front teeth but kimwili, she was blessed.

Hata bila salamu, ā€˜nibuyie chaiā€™ . I said no. She insisted in a rude way before she told me maringo haitanipeleka popote and left.

Thinking I had dodged a bullet, she came back with her purse and a bottle of Tusker and sat.
ā€œSo haunibuyie chaiā€, sensing danger, nikitoka maharaka haraka kama nimepatia waiter 100 yake. Choose your battles.

Lesson, never going to SJ restaurant early morning. Night shift lanyes ni visirani.

Sabina Joy has a restaurantā€¦ ā€¦ Interestingā€¦

A nomal occurance that doesnt deserve a thread. Qualifies as neither a hekaya nor a chronicle.

Umeffi thread

Sabina Joy overlooks Kencomā€¦More interesting.

Hawakuwa wameanza ku serve chips? I think ni wewe ulitupigia story how you go to brothels kunywa chai na kula chips

who goes to sj for the restaurant? although i must admit hio mbuzi fry yao is the best in nairobi

Hizo hoteli zote ziko hapo ukaenda SJ. Tunajua ulipiga shot

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Funga funga thread

heri ungeenda lazarus apo tu karibu

True. Tho pia hapo kuna discrete sellers upstairs side ya bar. And their rooms are reasonable

Mtu anaenza ingia brothel kunywa chai na mandazi haifai aogope malanye (eti sensed danger)ā€¦means that place is familiar to youā€¦you need to learn how to give a cold-eyed stare that signals to a lanye when you donā€™t have business with them.

Bei ni ngapi na msee anaulizia wapi ukifika hapo?

Some talker said ati ni hao ma waitresses. Something about you pick the one to serve you then time ya kulipa you tip/buy her lunch na kuuliza hookup. Ubaya ni you have to wait mpaka her shift iishe to hookup

Yeah something like that. Tho pia you will sometimes find peddlers sitting there nursing a drink and giving males that suggestive side-eye. Even Avenida club which is near galitos Moi avenue has very many nowadays. College girls mostlyā€¦and Lele types.

afadhali niende mlolongo nidinye mama ya mkamba mjinga maskini illiterate @PHARMACY mwenye huuza kuma 50 bob mlolongo

Will pass by avenida