Najua ni siku mob nimepotea ka coin ya BOB,anyway blame Colymore ju ni ye’ amefanya niluz my BUNDLE of joy,sahi niko so SINGLE ka ngoma solo kwa ALBUM…(Spoken word pia siko mbaya.). Did I say am single, yes I am …na hivi ndio kuliendanga.
Siku njema huonekana kama kawa ngware,since nihame from Kawangware nimekuwa namezea dame plot next,so this morning she bought me some pizza (mandazi). This meant no whistling for my cup of hot stirred drinking chocolate,I actually had to take it from the balcony. I know you know how mandazi ya mwisho huwa tamu…now Imagine I had watch it fly to the ground just after one bite (bad omen).Still the day was super fantastic, Nana the girl next door paid me a visit thanks to Dr. Matiang’i’s long holiday. Nana and l are friends with benefits,but her mom believes I help her with homework.
Her mom wasn’t home so she brought me lunch not forgetting slices. As we were busy studying in bed,her mom opened the door,their door, So she hurriedly left. I had to shower na kuclady my Sunday best though ilikuwa sato,ready to go watch the game. Knock knock…ingia iko wazi,it was Janet my main Chiq, she had paid me a surprise visit. A moment of awkwardness emerged when the Surprisee (Janet) turned out to be the surprised one…“hio panty ni ya nani?” She asked. The bakery of lies (my head) didn’t fail me," nilianulia mama peter manguo,I guess hio ilianguka akichukua." Kuja tumpelekee ukiona" I said hoping she would refuse since mama Peter doesn’t exist,of which she did.
The cheap lie sold good, she was like," si uoge uvae twende tutembee." Tufyakwaaa!! You all know I had showered and dressed in my best." Leo stoki plz si tukae tu" I said feeling so low(hii mafuta kuisha inaniaibisha). She agreed as she sat in bed with a remote in her hand searching for the Afro cinemas. I was there,in my self confused house (kitchen,sitting,bedroom and dinning room all within 1 room) forced to watch Mama G taste her poison to see if it works and she doesn’t die yet it works. I was holding her in my arm,caressing her when she saw a ghost in the same movie,removing his shoes before entering the house, she was so frightened that she dropped the remote. Now, Satan sucks,as she bendovered to pic it,her eyes came across some used Cds under the bed.
Another lie was baked,Johnny aliniomba keja, she was about to buy it when Nana walked in without knocking, "Imagine beb nilisahau…"she stopped in shock as I finished for her “ooh kitabu ndio hio apo kwa table” (thank God she didn’t say panty). She picked it and walked out leaving me with refueled fire to extinguish. Beb? She fumed and walked out on me,I let her go since I would always get her back on WhatsApp. Janet was slim but sweet, I couldn’t lose her.
I went online and inboxed her," sasa msupa" then the Devil in the name of typing error,changed it to “Sasa Mfupa” she replied with " ati what" followed by an emoji of eyes poping out,before I could correct it,Bob Colymore came in form of a pop up text “you do not have active data bundle…” I later got an sms from her “ju nimekonda unaniita mfupa? Ndio maana unaleta wengine wakisahau ngotha, it over,usiwahi nicall na hata usireply…” that’s how I ended up single for the 40th time in 2016.Looking at the bright side of it, I’m now free to mingle.