Ona vile huyu Mzee anajidai I changed diaper, si that’s the work single mums do, ndio ameona kumbe kazi mwanamke hufanya ni kubwa. LOL. Isn’t this what men do all the time disappear then watoto wakikua wakubwa a arudi, do you hear single mothers complaining ati mimi ndio nilimbadilisha diaper. Have a taste of what women go through.
kidole ya kati na your feminist agenda
Yeah, single mothers alienate their kids’ fathers a lot
when it comes to children of a broken union, everyone needs to just calm the fvck down and act like grown ups. That means that the protagonists must stop fighting through the legal system in the name of the kids.
Without that, no court will ever settle their differences.
@TrumanCapote Kwani this lady never made an effort to have a conversation with her kids. Talk to them even if her husband was estranged?
Kuchange diaper just like kunyonyesha ni kazi ya mama. That’s how nature intended. A woman who ditches her kids is snake. Only reptiles abandon their offspring at birth
Hakuna kazi ya mama apart from kubeba na kuzaa. Isn’t Ted Josiah doing everything for his daughter from bathing her to changing her diapers and feeding her formula. Kwani nyinyi ndio wanaume kumzidi? All parenting is a labor of love. That’s why nobody remembers fathers day coz even men recognize that the real parent ni mama. Kwani wanaume Hawa wote who love their moms to pieces na hawananga shughuli na Baba hawajui ni kazi yake ama why love her more?
So when a woman leaves her kids because of marriage frustration for few years she’s a snake but Hawa wanaume wamejaa huku nje who took off during pregnancy sio pythons? Women get fed up with man’s infidelity and madharau and leave even for the states. My aunt late left her 3 and 2 year old bcz her husband infected her with HIV alichukua watoto after my uncle passed and everyone understood its pain that drove her to such extreme. If the judge awarded the custody to the mom there is a good reason why she left, maybe jamaa alimpea AIDS. No woman leaves her kids unless she is on drugs or she is in too much pain, moms love their kids too much4that. Anyway the kids will look for her when they grow up, I also never appreciated my mom as a kid but when I grew up ndio nilikua mama ya mtu ni nani.
I don’t know details but naskia she works in Inooro and she has been in serious depression so it’s like the man did something bad to her. She was healing.
I disagree with you hapo ‘atee ni kazi ya mama’. Here in the land of no mboches ni kazi ya everyone. Dads change diapers, feed kids, do homework, babysit when mum is at work…do the school run…cook for the kids.
Tell them. How do Kenyan men survive huko and the way huku hata kikombe hawajui huwekwa wapi. Here is a mom who lost her 12 kids talking to a lawyer on how to go about getting her kids back in Kenya.This one the dad is a bishop of a sect like wakorino, poisoned the kids and raped and impregnated first born is when her eyes got opened and she ran back to the mom.
Lawyer
Zamani these chores were the cause of many divorces. Kyuk men were taught that the kitchen is a woman’s domain. Sasa ati mkitoka job anachukua remote and a can of fosters while you head for the kitchen. Kids or no kids everyone needs to put in the hard work. Then when kids arrive, he wants you to stay at home while he earns and helps his people. Not yours. Na ujue kuna v many breadwinners, the ones educating their siblings back home…major cause ya fights.
Nowadays, they have all received the memo…mine rarely cooks but he is hands on with everything else esp childcare and all the other manly duties that I used to struggle with. And quite often I ring my dude friends and he will tell you proudly he is cooking ugali and nyamchom for la familia.
Also we do have options of employing old women lakini shida ya hawa is the fact that we find it hard to tell them what to do…alafu wakienda off over the weekend they are likely to call you on sunday night telling you she is ill leaving you in a lurch…wondering what to tell the boss on Monday. They also don’t like ironing and hoovering and they cook mathogothanio food. My sista works in the private sector aka dog eat dog and I was in the public sector which allows a v flexible working pattern. I had to step in many times. We also have young girls bila makaras but they shagged by hubbies. Many of them are thrown out late in the night by angry wives in the winter…then have we not heard enough stories about the kazos shipped from Kenya anamea horns…sasa hataki living with you and wants a different job etc…
Then we have registered childminders and daycares who charge an arm and a leg but they are legit. In my case we weighed the pros and cons and since we have BOGOF, it would not be worth it. Coz the younger they are the more you pay…but looking to bring in someone sometime down the road…nirudi job for the sake of my sanity…
Does that give you a pic?
I have gotten the picture. Huku even housewives have househelps. They’re so cheap you can have two. I know a young lady with 3 kids and stay at home with 2 house helps. She’s very relaxed. The husband pays for everything. Househelp here is 7k which is the minimum wage as per labor laws but if you want a cheaper househelp you can get from UG as little as 5k. They do everything, yours is just to manage them and train them how you like things. Our women are lazy uwongo mbaya. For me I had to be mbotchless since hii mambo ya Corona which I have only been when I lived at the Coast coz Coastarians are very lazy and they want to be paid like it’s a hotel. If she washes she will lipisha per single item of cloth. And in Coast you wear very light clothes and only sleep with sheets. So I never had house help throughout, my land lady’s house boy who was an old man used to ask me for housework but I only let him clean my house once. I started feeling uncomfortable, he used to smoke bhangi and was a retired sailor in Zanzibar. Even in high school we had no workers in school we would cut grass, tend flower beds, wash dorms, dishes as in the only workers we had was cooks, security and mtu wa ngombe. Everything else we the students used to do. It’s actually nice to do things for yourself coz they get done to precision. When I was at the Coast I was so independent. Huku tumezoea being done for every thing. The only thing you can do is cooking. Since Rona I’ve been doing my own hair, mani, pedi, eyebrows, cleaning, everything. I even do gel nails now. Hii Rona is a huge blessing in disguise. I am like kumbe I can be this independent?
Kenyan men are used to being done for every single thing hadi they don’t know where socks are kept. Learned helplessness. Ukimwachia mtoi one hour utashangaa. They don’t know how to deal with kids at all.There’s a guy called Ted Josiah his baby momma died 3 months after birth. That guy is so hands on with the daughter. He even bathes her. Lakini Hawa wengine huittisha hadi maji.
Growing up my mum used to send our mboches home when we closed school. She had a draconian timetable hung up as to who does what and when. We ‘hated’ her because she also expected us to read. Looking back now we thank her since we can do stuff for ourselves. If my washing machine broke down…I will get down and dirty in the bathtub and clean those clothes.
I always laugh when I recall how a friend of mine called me one day and asked me to go and show him how to make stew Njeri. He had all the ingredients. Potatoes, meat, carrots, peas etc…but he did not know what goes 1st or when…now he cooks for his family like a veteran.
Say what you may but kazi ya wamama hatufanyi so long as the woman is around
We will not argue about this…never expect us to go to work like yourselves and then nikuje home niendelee na kaza za mama. We go 50-50.
Na bado nikulipie nyumba?
I think we are not addressing the same issue. Re-read my post. And for the record we go halves on our bills or whoever is earning more pays more.
Actually with age I’ve realised the importance of knowing how to do everything for yourself and its not even hard. For me I only cooked in home science class where if you dared burn food ama too much salt or tasteless food, the two home science teachers will show you hell. At home my mom never allowed us to cook coz she cooks in a very specific way so unless you just chop and peel things cooking in her kitchen was a No. So I started late in life. Baptism by fire. Home science you have to cook, bake, wash clothes, clean a room arrange it, sew a dress in 2hrs.It used to be like being in a pressure cooker. Anyway, I ended up loving especially cooking and now everyone asks me if I went to culinary school. I think it’s nice to teach your kids everything one day they will need it for sure. About cars, how to sew, how to knit, how to play chess. I always enjoy learning new things. I heard of a chef who never cooks at home atakula that boring food ya Bibi. Me I don’t know what happened to me. Even tea has to be condimented for me to drink it. I even add to office tea. Vitu plain siwezani. If I cook tea for you, you will take without sugar. Maybe it’s Coastal influence coz Coastarian and plain Food is an anomaly. They have to add things on it to make it as tasty as possible. Anyway, it’s so nice to be able to do stuff for yourself some of these househelps are insufferable I am struggling to learn how to thread eyebrows its hard.
Sawa bro usifanye but also provide fully then don’t expect her to chip in coz a total man like you who can’t do women’s work should be able to provide fully.