Sincere advise for a young Village Elder

Habari fellow Kijiji-ans, as I slowly approach 24 early next year i feel the pressure to be more serious with my life
and focus on building myself and those i care about. I’m really worried about my generation and how things will be
in the future. Sometimes i blame the older generations for really making life tough. I remember the early 2000’s
and how easy life was regardless of how young/naive i was back then. This year has been full of partying,hangovers
sex, fights and trials and tribulations.

Gradually, it feels as though I am losing myself. One realization is that those i meet during our fun times
hardly add value to my life. I have lost connections with a few valuable friends through neglecting them and instead
opt to hang out with my bar buddies. I have slept with women whom i have felt as though they have drained my soul
(uzuri nliacha na mapoko 2019).

Luckily I am getting employed next year in a place I have always wanted to work at, doing what i enjoy. Side hustles i have
had for the last 2 years which can make me anything from 20k-40k per month(20k extra from allowances). However,
whenever i get a little money it is all splurged on useless things(i hate the fact i cannot account for any of it.)

In this loose generation, with all these societal pressures i have decided on a few changes i will have to make for next year.

  1. Moving out of my parents home… I come from fairly stable homestead and my parents have not forced me out until
    i am comfortable. Though it feels as though i am being to sheltered and really need to make my moves as a man. Getting
    out of my comfort zone will definitely push me to become more mature and focused.

  2. Building my relationship with a girl who equally is from a stable background who in the past has pushed me to become
    a better man. Feelings zimekuwa for the last 4 years but we gave ourselves space to grow. Ubaya is that she has always
    hinted at getting a kid, though i definitely am not ready until i am satisfied with where i have reached. As for marriage
    not really thinking about it.:smiley: (MGTOW hapa are frothing like rabid dogs after hearing this point about settling with a
    woman.) A great proportion of these Nairobi girls are useless and financial vampires too. Meaningless sex does not entice
    me anymore. A lot of sickly girls and guys out here who i know personally na Nairobi is a big bedroom.

  3. Easing off the drugs and alcohol. (Pretty self explanatory) Coupled with this i’d regulate my club life with more programs
    that will help, e.g community service, toastmasters and all those places i can find investors and people who can build me.
    Reading too needs to be intergrated. This will weed out most of the leeches in my life.

  4. Investing, mutual funds are on the list too.

I’m in a much better space than earlier in the year, though i do need some advice from the sane villagers here.
Certainly there are some people here who have been in worse situation and others in better ones.
Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. I’d like to hear practical things so telling me to pray is not what im looking for, though mnaeza kuniombea.

1st advice is that you post this thread on the general forum.
Unless you looking for s_x/rltnship advise.

Look for one good woman. Ni hayo tu

I havent read all of this shit. But the little I read already convinced me you have a good mind on your shoulders. All you need is a bit of luck and you will be fine


My bad nlirealize after posting and not very sure how to shift.

But you’ve already advised yourself young lad. Period

Shukran brathe

Boy you are on the right track! The best thing, you have discovered and recovered yoself…anyway bado uko na milage ya kutomber koomer, tafadhali usiwache, kuna wasee hapa wanatamani kukua na nguvu ya io shuhul but wamebaki midomo tuu:D

Any more tips or advice? Follow through is the biggest hinderance.

Just do asset investment

I don’t know men. Life has no formula and for sure several douche bags here will advise on what WORKED FOR THEM , which does not necessarily mean it will WORK FOR YOU. With that being said, keep your circle extremely tiny. Friends will always get you to spend your money on mundane things, like clubbing, chips funga and all that sort of shenanigans. You’ll realize that once you are alone, you’ll focus on your life and put your money to better use. Most importantly, move out of your parents house. That’s the beginning of focus and responsibility. You will always be jolted by the thought of paying rent or being kicked out, that you’ll always be working hard. Sooner or later, you’ll notice your account has 20k, 30k, 40k+. And then like Jimit the Philosopher, Jimit the Great, who barwly four years ago was earning $80 a month, you can be able afford to place a 180k screen in your room, something am sure most of your peers will not be able to afford sooner. But that’s not an achievement, for all I know somebody said poor people spend on entertainment. Anyway life’s a step. So you get out of your mama’s crib, get yourself a single room to start with, pimp it mdogo mdogo and save while at it, nigga save! Before you know it, life will have picked and you’ll be in the market shopping for Audi A3. Just be very optimistic and work hard, opportunities will come, I promise. I promise you that.

On his behalf and mine, thank you. I am 22, just finished uni awaiting graduation, got a job back in September, been trying to implement this…

You are on the right trajectory infact you are very lucky ubongo wako umefunguka at an early age.Endelea vivyo hivyo and all the best.

Thanks, hahaha maku sizi acha though nataka kufocus on one or two potentials. Wasichana wamenichanganya mbaya sana juu naskia nko na peak testosterone atthis age. Mdomo baggy wamejaa huku kweli:D

I envy you man. At that age I was so sexually active. Nikapata project I’d almost certainly hire you to lead it. I see myself in you. And thats a good sign.

Kumbe not everyone here is 30+ , stay on track bro and all the best. just like your name “tuende tukiendanga!”

Inspirational! Ubaya after stupid escapades ilibidii nimeze PEP some time hii mwaka, i was scared that hours of fun can mess up my entire life, which was part of the motivation to reflect sana.

You are on the right track.Hama nyumbani and save.Women will come,dinya them kabisa and at the right time choose the one who fits your personality.Mwanaume complete ni mwenye ako na familia.Dont listen to any MGTOW bullchieth.

at 23 i already had my own place and a car. Wewe endelea kulalia maskio thinking that life has a reheasal. Mwanaume ukifika miaka 21 unafaa unatoka kwa mzazi, na kwani huyo dem yako huwa unamtomba kwa nyumba ya mzazi?