Siku ya Kwanza Kula Yello Yelli

Kuwa mwanaume ni kazi kweli na hapo hakuna ubishi…ama sivyo kaulize huyo Mohammed Alfayo alias Calvin alfayo wa kula class 4 kids. Sasa wacha niwaelezee kulivyoenda nilipoangukia huyu mdem fresh yello hello…

Nilipokuwa form 4, mimi nilikuwa mtu wa mbuku sana lakini wakati ikiruhusu najifunza ufisi…Sana sana nilikuwa naangukia tudem tweusi ambatwo tunashrub sana, lakini fisi lazima afikange mwisho wa safari…zima tu taa…mimi hapana member wa arimis battalion.

Niliendelea na hao black n chocolates muda mrefu hadi kwa esto nikaona kadem flani yello yello…brathe, huyu Demu alikuwa na macho kama ya Ray C na haga kama ile Kanye West amezoea ya Kardashian…na mdomo iko sawa, fit for a blow job…fisi akabaki kufanya hesabu kama hii ligi ataweza kucheza…kumbukeni mi ni student form 4 heading for my final term so pesa na mimi hatukuwa tumezoeana…

Nikaamua huyo dem tu wacha ikae…siku moja atabeat tu azae watoi niwakamue nikiwa na form. Nikamsahau.

Siku moja nikiwa kwa nyumba nikirevise hesabu, niliskia hodi…Kufungua mlango nikaona dem rafiki yangu masake ni beste ya mathe alikuwa amepitia kuniomba CD flani ya movie akawatch…Kumaliza kumshtua vipi siste, dem mwingine nyuma yake akatoa kichwa anasema hi Mjamaa…%$@@…fisi akapigwa na thitima…kumbe ni yule yello yello…Lakini, mi huwa hardcore, siwajua maisha ya boarding school vile inabidi ukaange radar usiibiwe ngotha ama njati safi umeosha…Nikajicompose nikawakaribisha na smile kama ya rarri madowo…

Baada ya kuomba Kamaa the shopkeeper sodas on credit stories zikaanza…Nikamjua huyo Demu yello yello…Kumbe ni Cuzo wa huyo beste yangu, na pia alikuwa anafanya form 4 hio mwaka…fisi akazuia kutabasamu…nikamshow mi ni bingwa hesabu na kula kitu akam turevise awe stadi pia…akawa anakuja na mimi namtupia mtama pole pole…usidanganywe, ni ngumu sana kula kuku ushindwe kuwa na tamaa ya kuikula…ulizeni @mundumulosi

Baada ya hizi revisions, huyu Demu alikuwa anakimbia kwa nyumba so time ya kufika Canaan ikawa hadi after KCSE…

Lakini wapi, huyu yello yello mkamba akaenda kwao ikabaki tunachat na hizo safaricom kabambe…Tukapanga tukutane resort Fulani out of town…

Sasa ubaya sikuwa na pesa saana…ikabidi nifikirie fast…Bahati nzuri kulikuwa na fisi mwenzangu alikuwa na kadem kake alikuwa anataka kuonja Canaan pia…Tukaamua hio wiki tufanye vibarua tusave kitu kiasi tuwapeleke hao skirt wearers out that coming Saturday.

So when the day neared, we didn’t have much money to cover cost ya kuku so ule fisi mwingine akaiba kuku ya bro yake ya project tukaisafisha tukapack tukingoja kesho yaani Saturday. Siku ikafika, na mademu wakatokelezea tukaingia base…tukaingia kwa pool wrote kuswim na tukabribe cook atupikie nyama…Lakini man kuswim na yello yello msawa ana haga si mchezo…unambao bure na umevaa ngotha so watu wanaiona tu…Nikamsho Demu twende changing rooms…

Siku yangu ikawa imefika…Nilinyandua hiyo figure 8 kwa choo ya changing rooms na fujo hadi huyo demu akawa anaitisha breaks apumue…Baadaye nikamwachilia aende akavae turudi huko juu kwa wenzetu…lakini wenzetu kumbe walikuwa wamejificha another choose kwa female changing rooms…Huyo jamaa lakini hakupewa demu alikuwa ananyesha na hataki kusikia mambo ya dry fry na fala ilisahau condom…

Waliosema siku ya nyani kufa miti yote huteleza hawakukosea…Cook aliniita kando akanishow hio kuku alikuwa imeoza tuisahau…ikabaki ni chips na masoda na machupa (back then, beer was cheap)…bahati nzuri tulilipa kila kitu mapema so haina was…

Ikafika tunaishia home nikamuweka demu kwa mat ya kwao nami nikabaki kutegea ya kwetu tukiwa na fisi na demu wake (these girls who show up on Nakuru road trips wakinyesha should be shot ama vipi uncle uwes?)…

Walla, kumbe huyo yello yello alikuwa amenisafisha wallet ile mpaka ile corner mi huficha big notes wakati nilimuacha akavae nguo nikiwa kwa choo…to cut the long story shot, tulitembea na mguu for 20kms from Fourteen Falls hadi Thika on foot…Na nikakimbia VCT nikaitisha PEP…huyo demu alizaa mtoi na mlevi mmoja, akamuacha akaolewa na msee wa base ya Muguka before aokoke akapta third husband ameokoka ni Bank teller ndio anamlelea watoto sasa…She deserved it, meffi!!!

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Oh lord have Mercy…and Janet, Tracy and Christine too… hii ni maneno gani unaleta Jumapili? it couldn’t wait till tomorrow Monday?

I have come to realise that yello yello means different things to different people

Ntarudi ku comment nikimaliza kukamua ngamia za Abdul

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Enyewe ata ka mimi ni NV. huyu naye ametuangusha

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Hapa ni kama waandika insha jamaa. Ama ni will?

Achaneni na @wonderful wonder , at least leo hakuandika osungu…

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fertile imagination. PEP is a recent development if I am not wrong and you want us to believe that this happened around 10 years ago.

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@MjamaaPittsburgh safi sana pokea like yangu.

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Hekaya timam.

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Hekaya ni mrefu wasiopenda part I na II ndio wengi bwana…next time nitafupisha

PEP came around in 2005…Google is your friend brathe

Hatupendi ujinga. Weka part 2 sahii

My first encounter with PEP was in '04.

@Luther12 , fisi since 2004

Sawa wakubwa! I have not been a very good member of team dry fry

Part II haina mapya…kumnyandua occasionally kama owners hawana copy…that is until saw the light in Damascus…:):):slight_smile:

Elder mwenye ameelewa hii lugha afafanue.

Funny chieth right?

So you swam on pool water full of red blood cells