Shiny eyes phillosophy

Who can translate this…

Believe you me if you are not greek it won’t be the same. But again kwani you don’t have a Greek pal?

Just go to Rwaka slums you will find him.
He once shocked me at the stage , he wanted yo get into a matatu heading to CBD only for it to be full but before the driver took off , he said in Greek "hamtafika town kabla yangu ", every passenger thought he was Just talking. .tha matatu drove none stop . We were shocked to find him at Khonja waiting. .huyo mzee is a magician

Okay let me give it a go.
Mzee is asked whether he goes to church. Response: Yes very early even before the priest. Basically before peasants annoy the Almighty.
Q: Do you tithe?
Ans: never ever. My father’s house is full to the brim no room for my money. Something to the effect that God wd find him very foolish if he prayed for a k and God gives him a k and the chap walks all over the place looking for 1k to pay tithe. God wd consider him foolish and take away the remaining 900.
Q: what do you expect pastors to eat.
A: let them work like the rest of us.
Q: do you pay tax?
A: No. I paid colonialists, I paid Jobo, I paid Moi, I paid Kibaki -partly then I decided that is enough for one person to pay.
Q: You don’t pay current govt tax ?
A: Never ever. I paid his father (Jomo) , I watched him marry, he (UK) was born as I watch…then I pay him tax never ever!
Some part of the clip he is serving done birds. so he justifies himself that scriptures teach that all good things come to just men. He fears God and he is a just man ergo all good thIngs (birds) will always come to him.
As I said -not the same when translated.
disclaimer: in the pub @introvert usikuje hapa.

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Aisee!

wah… @introvert asijaribu kukaribia. brarry!. … anaweza chora mtu akiwa na .dll missing

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Hehehe…
@LeoK alisema ningoje nje.

He he he. Boss, niliweka disclaimer. what you find in the bar…

kwani mtu moja ni nyati?..hapo nimepasuka yangu yote

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smart man there!