I dated an older man once , a good 20 years older, widowed with three kids close to my age. He was a very attractive man. Very! But I always felt like I was with my dad. Like he could almost read your mind. I don’t know what women who think older men are easier to handle or manipulate live. Those men are like Satan - they can see through you vibaya sana ! You can never outsmart them, so don’t even try. The power imbalance is impossible! Don’t try it. That shit is wack! 40 years age difference ?! Clearly Regina Daniels doesn’t know men. At all. Kwanza these relationships where a grown man met you in high school? Madam you are going to regret it! That’s what happened to Syombua of Major Mugure! Manipulation is one touch! Giving you a false sense of security!
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He met when she was just 16 and he married her the moment she finished high school. It is said that her KCSE results did not find her at home with her parents. They found her at her husband’s house. A man who was 25 years older than her.
In no time, she gave him a son and true to his word, he took her to school just like he had promised her parents. She graduated with a degree in commerce and in no time she was working at a bank.
Three children into the marriage and she was as hot as she was when they got married and he couldn’t stand it.
He was haunted by jealousy so he beat her up often and he became a control freak who was always checking her movements and deciding the clothes she was supposed to wear.
And that wasn’t enough.
He still wanted more control so he asked her to take a huge loan to help with the house they were building.
With loan deductions and a payslip that didn’t have much to it, he managed to make her financially dependent on him.
I have seen the conversation on Regina and the first thing I thought about is the story I have written above. A story of a woman who was intentionally impoverished by her older husband. Except this is a Kenyan woman. It’s just that she isn’t famous enough to be subject to online discourse.
In Nigeria, it is alleged that Regina Daniels was providing in her marriage. Her husband is a rich politician. A senator. And he still made a 24 year old provide.
If you are doubting that story, you clearly do not know how abuse works.
Financial abuse is the first step towards physical and emotional abuse.
These things work together. It’s hard for them to exist without each other.
And that man isn’t broke.
He has money.
He probably told her it is tied up in investments and he will pay her back as soon as they pay off.
And she brought it.
Because she didn’t realize she was being manipulated.
She thought they were working together as a couple.
So no, Regina was not providing because her man couldn’t.
She was providing because he wanted her poor.
He knew a financially independent woman is an empowered woman.
He knew a financially independent woman could always leave and start over and he didn’t want that.
He wanted her to be dependent on him.
He wanted her helpless.
That’s why he used to sabotage her work opportunities.
I have read that many producers stated it was hard to work with Regina because he was always calling her when she was on set and he would cause chaos each time they told her they can’t release her from work.
This is a man with several wives and yet he used to perform neediness because he knew a working woman is a financially independent woman and he couldn’t handle being with a woman who has the wings to fly.
At least not when it meant she could fly away from him.
Years ago I wrote that we women tend to underestimate the cunning brilliance of rich men.
I remember telling you people that you cannot manipulate a rich older man.
That it’s all an illusion.
Patriarchy convinces women that there’s power in our bodies, femininity, and youth but that’s a fallacy. That power only exists for as long as that man has enough goodwill to sustain the delusion.
It exists because he’s made the decision to delude you into thinking you are in control.
But you never are.
The one with the money is always the one who is in control.
That’s how capitalism works.
And capitalism is not sustained by youth or beauty.
It is sustained by resources.
Capitalism is predatory.
It is not kind.
It crushes the majority to sustain a few.
It’s delusional to imagine there exists a rich man who got rich from being weak or foolish.
And that your own existence is enough to control him.
Life doesn’t work that way.
If you see a man who is extremely wealthy, know he got there by being calculative and ruthless.
It’s delusional to believe such a man won’t crush you when he deems it necessary.
Because the moment you become a threat to him, you will feel his power and influence with a brutality you can’t imagine.
Regina: 24yrs
Ned: 64 yrs
