Can you live in Australia, Canada, Sweden, Norway, Netherlands, UK, US ,South Africa then come back to a third world country shouting alah akbar sticking your ass up in the air?
God bless Kenya, Africa
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Sir, no need to mock people’s religions.
So anyway, let’s rewind to 2004. A dangerous thug from Kenol Murang’a called James Itina @Lord_Wanaruona had just finished his KCSE examinations and decided to celebrate this milestone in the famous SJ - a dingy gentleman’s club graced by pickpockets, robbers, and riff raffs from all walks of life… His objective was to drain the swamp (or rather, his testis).
His preference was voluptuous, dark skinned ladies with heavy kikuyu accents. Mr. Itina scouted the danguro when he finally lay his bloodshot marijuana eyes on @MDCCCXXIV, a damsel from Nyeri who ticked all of Mr. Itina’s boxes.
To cut a long story short, a room was procured, balls were drained, and a few months later, an autistic baby boy named @Josto_Bwaku was sired…
@Lord_Wanaruona scored an E minus in the KCSE examinations…
Ume save pesa ngapi tukuongezea utairi pamoja na vipii wenzako ya junior secondary. @Josto_Bwaku leta picha ya visu za kutairi @Yugni .
You might be asking yourself, “So where is James Itina @Lord_Wanaruona today?”
Though he still engages is petty crimes (eg. Snatching handbags from unsuspecting women) Mr. Itina has also ventured into the world of hip-hop, aspiring to compete with international icons like 50 Cent and Jay-Z.
Here is a picture of him from a recent photoshoot:
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