Proffessions Za Kenyan Bonobos

General
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  • Mbruya ni either chef ama watchaman kwa tajiri fulani
  • Mkamba ni faithful Store Keeper kwa mhindi kwa mshahara ys Ksh 9,500
  • Kalenjinga either anafanya kwa GoK Parastatal ama care taker kwa Stadium kukata nyasi akisorora kitu cha kuiba kama fence ama scrap metal
  • Njaruo either ni mechanic ama panel beater ama welder wa nilango na madirisha
  • Kisii wao ni experts wa kutengeneza majenza na ku broke Mandizi na Mananasi, ya magendo kutoka UG na TZ na pia bangi
  • Kikuyu ni masters of many trades. Ni Hawker amabaye anaweza appear na Umbrella randomly as long as mvua imeanza kunyesha, Ni broker, Ni Forger, Ni Mwizi wa bunduki na bado ni Conman wa kutumia maneno matamu ama mchele, ni Pastor ama Bishop, ni entrepreneur hatari wa Company kubwa kama Banks na Viwanda.
  • Masai yeye ni daktari wa kutumia dawa za miti lakini IQ yake iko chini kiasi level moja na zebra
  • Pokot, Turkana ni wezi wa mifugo lakini pia ni upright walking reptiles who can survive without water for weeks. They eat anything with blood. From snakes to cows
  • Taitas ni wavivu kama Minji Kenda, kazi yao ni kulewa na kutombana
  • Somalis ni wafanya biashara wafisadi sana, kazi yao ni kunyunyisia nchi mate kama sprinkler. Uzuri Msomali akikuamini hata Shillingi Millioni moja anaweza kukukopea with ZERO collateral, but usijaribu kumrusha coz the consequences will be dire.
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We need more posts of this kind :green_emoji:

But juu wewe ni Kikuyu naona hujajitoanisha vizuri so wacha niseme:

  • Kikuyu ni either makanga ama mwizi na bibi yake part-time malaya and the malaya skills are passed down to the daughters as they transition to single-mathas before the age of 18. Afterwards ni kujaza Nairobi wakisema vile hao ndio wamejenga manyumba zote Kenya :green_emoji:

Also add: Meru, Embu, Boranas, Subas and other smaller ones

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  • Merus shida yao ni hasira, but they are good farmers and are closely related to Kisiis than Kikuyus
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This is hilarious,

Nmecheka sana.

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  • Pokot, Turkana ni wezi wa mifugo lakini pia ni upright walking reptiles who can survive without water for weeks. They eat anything with blood. From snakes to cows

@gaza niaje, umesalimika?

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Hapo kwa Kikuyu women being single mothers ni ukweli mtupu

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Oliskia wapi Taita are lazy…kwa kulewa kuna Ka ukweli tho

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What about the Teso and Kuria?

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Hizi ni kabila sijui hata majina ya wenyewe, I’ve never interacted with anyone from such communities. Ati mteso, mkuria… bado

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Basi wewe hujatembea Kenya kaka

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Good analysis from a bitter gnashing handcart pusher

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Mteso ni some tall dark folks from Western a cross between baruya na karamajong wa Uganda

Kurias are basically kisiis wanapatikana huko towards sirare border

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Tesos are Nilotes more closely related to Turkana but they have mingled with luhyas such that most speak and behave like baruhya.
Kuria are close to Kisii but have strong connection with Tanzania infact most speak good TZ Swahili

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Ni kweli kabisa shifo.

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Na lanye wengi Kwa lodgo