Its time for my end-of-year colonoscopy and prostate exams. Tomorrow is D-day.
Worst experience you have to undergo if you are a cut, old man, if you asked me.
A colonoscopy, if you don’t know, is an examination of the colon for any cancer. A day before you are given some shit to take that makes you diarrhoea and you feel hungry like hell but can’t eat.
Then you go to hosi and put those funny gowns that expose your butt. In the exam room, some kijana Luther walks into the room and tells you to lie on your side and RELAX. Relax? Shit, what man relaxes when his butt is exposed to another man (oh, ok, may be a few here).
Then they start inserting this long tube into your ass, kidogo kidogo. After kedo 20 minutes, its all the way up to I don’t know where, and all this time there are like four medics in the room looking at some weird pictures on a screen coz the probe has a camera at the tip. And one or two of the medics could be women, shit!
Heneway, after about 30-50 minutes, they are through.
And thats when they call in the urologist to do the prostate exam, which among others involves putting their oiled index finger up you ass…humiliating! Makes you wanna say to hell, kama ni cancer wacha iwe, then sense kicks in.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh, just pray for me.
I’ll need that - and litres of Dutch courage - to go through tomorrow.
