These are the kind of things you find in these women’s groups, what can you tell such a person really?
#Borrowedpsuedo.
Hi mums… I have two boys with a certain married man. They are 5years and 11months respectively. He convinced me animarry a second wife and I agreed but he has never admitted to his first wife that akona mimi. Everytime she brings it up, he denies. Though his parents and relative know about me. The issue is I’m not legally married as a second wife to him and he spares very little time to see the boys even though we are in the same town. He provides financially but he keeps breaking his promises to my first born. Kama two weeks ago he was supposed to take our son to a kinyozi and he failed to show up, mimi nikampeleka the following day na viboko because he was refusing to go unless Daddy comes to take him. Out of frustrations, when we got home I told him clearly that Daddy can’t always be here for us because we are not his real family, akona ingine. When he came that evening, that was the first thing my son said to him… He was upset, at a point of almost getting physical with me asking ni upuzi gani naambia mtoto?. Was is it wrong? At a point I thought I had to tell our son the truth so as to lower his expectations. Cause everytime Daddy breaks his promise, ni kisarani kwa nyumba. We have not spoken to each other since then anakam kuona watoi kwa nyumba,mimi nikiwa shop and i don’t close it untill he leaves, the Dm texts me ametoka that’s when I leave the shop.
NB; nowadays our son doesn’t play or talk to Daddy much as he used to. And that is making him more upset towards me.
If you are not a real uncut Jaluo Jeuri Jeusi Jamwandu Jarateng’ keep off polygamy.Jaluos are the only ones who can make upto three women from three different communities live in perfect harmony and happiness in his 6bedroom villa in Kileleshwa na hautaskia nyefnyef za oh my kid hajapelekwa kinyozi oh my kid hajafanyiwa shopping oh oh oh.
polygamy has been a part of this world since man sinned; Abraham had concubines, Solomon had 300 wives. my point is the woman isn’t at fault, and the man is a beta male, acknowledge your wives and treat all your kids equally.
Sasa ukikua wife, si hio nafasi ya mwk itajazwa na mwingine? Tena, yes Im also dating a married man, but I dnt ever wish to b married to him, who wants to get married to sameone who cheats on his wife? Again, this relationships are fun and sweet when thy are hidden.
First of all, it is wrong to share such information with a 5 y/o. His interpretation of the situation is v different from an older child…v damaging. These are the women I keep saying are all about me me me. She knew the man was married so why sleep walk into it and even sire kids with him…and wait for it runs to shosho media to look for answers.
What you did was wrong because it’s you who chose to have kids with someone else’s husband… you should have made up something to protect your kids… you have already started damaging your kids self esteem… when you have children with a man who’s not ready to divorce his first wife then you better understand your children will always come second meaning he will never live up to the promises he makes to them because he cannot afford to disappoint the first wife…it’s your duty to protect your children as you alone made that decision…
Am sorry to say this but you are a foolish woman,you could have looked for another excuse to give your son…now you have destroyed your son, you have destroyed that inocent relationship they had with the dad. … women should be wise Aki … better him he’s even responsible,he’s coming to see his children… wengine wetu tulizaa na watu,na hawana mabibi but they neglected their children after separation…and I can’t talk ill of their father…never …wacha wakue wajijulie…
You did well…I support being extremely honest with children as per their ages and u understanding… It’s true you lowered your son’s expectations and that’s a fact you are two families…me I agree with you…
That man loves you and that’s why he still comes and see you plus the kids.Other husbands here don’t even provide for their families or even come home daily,wanaishi kwa lounge na Malaya!Make peace with him and accept that the first wife still needs love and attention the way you do.
Women ur are funny, you come 2nd but you expect to become priority, how now. Ofcourse those are the consequences of being no.2. You can never have it all. Na usipochunga sasa hata utaachwa kabisa but stop telling ur kids nonsence.
Ladies listen and listen good, baby daddies are not husbands, the other family comes first. Show your children alot of love and assure them of your capability and availability. Huyu Dad ni wakuja na kwenda you are the present parent. Let them trust you 100%. Never tell them any negative thing about the father watajua wenyewe and make their own conclusions. Small things like kinyozi, shopping, swimming make it fun for your babies mpaka huyo baby daddy aone wivu, atakuheshimu. #Beindependent
Trust me, in this day and age you are better off than having a man hanging around you all the time. You said he provides? Well, good for you, don’t ever for a minute think that the first wife is having a good time, these women are more frustrated than their counterparts cos they know they don’t have his full attention as they would wish? Be content and continue doing what you are doing…let him see his kids and provide, sio lazima akuwe hapo all the time. Hio Ni stress tupu!!
My dear you did the right thing but you have to understand one thing you are not his wife and neither are you his second wife . you are a baby mama baring in mind you said he has never married you legally his family knowing you doesn’t mean they won’t turn on you to defend their son.its ok you told your child the truth but it needed a dialogue kind of thing not a shouting cause words have a very big impact in his emotional development right now.just focus on your kids because in as much as he loves you you have to understand a thing if he can’t make a decision to marry you all he will do is just keep on spring kids with you.wacha huyo was pili akuwe was mwisho until akuonyeshe he is mature enough ju his not mature.and my dear don’t wish to be a second wife to a man who wife is not dead you will never be respected we kubali you are a baby mama it is not your fault we all fall for certain lies jipende penda watoto wako and tell the man he can come and see the kids but Mimi so kwa ubaya huyo mzee anakuchezea don’t be fooled it’s only through a miracle that he will marry you ju if you already have two kids and he hasn’t married you I don’t think he will.love yourself and nobody has the right to judge you we all make mistakes.
:D:D:D:D… I see we are rationalizing destroying families and the upbringing of children… Aaaaah, the next generation is going to be properly fcuked…
Polygamous men nyef nyef… When your mental capabilities mature by the age of 50-something hapo, you’ll understand the importance of a monogamous family unit…
Before then, let me continue enjoying how children are being destroyed by the sexual selfishness of their loving parents.
Hapo ulifanya makosa kubwa sana, it’s now your responsibility to mend that relationship between the dad and his son to the way it was before. Don’t tell children unnecessary things, ata kama truth is important not when it comes to kids, with them you protect them first by all means. Don’t tell children things that will hurt and destroy them
Why have a second child if he didn’t see the need to marry you with the first,I think he wanted more kids than the wife could give or he is like a guy I know who has lied to many saying he will marry them,he has impregnated many with this line but has never left the first wife
are you trying to b selfish???keep lanes you knew he was married from the word go and I guess you don’t expect him to leave his family for you.train your kids to b disciplined n not cause tantrums when he doesnt come