Polisi Ni Mavi Ya Kuku Chieth, Shetani, Kuma Mamao

[Cracken]

@LongTime

I was coming from South C just peacefully walking towards Nairobi West just a bit past West Malls when this landcruiser pulls up infront of me. The driver rolls down his window and tells me “Shenzi wewe rudi kwa Nyumba.” I try my best to answer as calmly as possible, “Ehh nimepigia mtu, nachukuliwa tu hapa Nairobi West”.
I thought that was that and continued walking nonchalantly towards Nairobi West. Like 10 seconds later nimeskia Nyahunyo mzito kwa mabega. Hata before I can react naskia jacket imevutwa amenipendua na kunishika jacket kwa shingo. Son of a bitch gave me a proper punch on the left side of my face. Naihisi hadi saa hii my face is throbbing. So bitch started pulling me towards the landcruiser. ati “Tunapenda majeuri kama wewe. Nakuambia uende nyumbani unatembea ni kama uko harusi?” I tried to protest “Na si nimekuambia naja kuchukuliwa hapa Nairobi West!”
Idiot starts setting his body up like someone who is about to swing another nyahunyo at me. I’m not about to take another lash. No not today. I don’t think he even knew what hit him. I lightly poked his eye and while he was still dealing with that taught him how a proper right is thrown. He staggered a couple steps back and fell on his backside. I still have that 100 meter speed on me, nimedhibitisha leo. Within the twinkle of an eye nilikua nimepiga hiyo corner ya macontainer, nyuma ya police post, nimechomoka huko mcfries, hadi ile base ya mogoka ya mkisii. Nikapata boda boda ameniingiza Hizi sides za Nairobi West Hospital kuna arif wangu Mwest Africa leo nitalala kwake.

Una bahati hawakuamua wapime hiyo speed yako na risasi…

[DrZeus]

Pole boss. Ile ujinga polisi wa Kenya wako nayo is out of this world.

@LongTime

I was coming from South C just peacefully walking towards Nairobi West just a bit past West Malls when this landcruiser pulls up infront of me. The driver rolls down his window and tells me “Shenzi wewe rudi kwa Nyumba.” I try my best to answer as calmly as possible, “Ehh nimepigia mtu, nachukuliwa tu hapa Nairobi West”.
I thought that was that and continued walking nonchalantly towards Nairobi West. Like 10 seconds later nimeskia Nyahunyo mzito kwa mabega. Hata before I can react naskia jacket imevutwa amenipendua na kunishika jacket kwa shingo. Son of a bitch gave me a proper punch on the left side of my face. Naihisi hadi saa hii my face is throbbing. So bitch started pulling me towards the landcruiser. ati “Tunapenda majeuri kama wewe. Nakuambia uende nyumbani unatembea ni kama uko harusi?” I tried to protest “Na si nimekuambia naja kuchukuliwa hapa Nairobi West!”
Idiot starts setting his body up like someone who is about to swing another nyahunyo at me. I’m not about to take another lash. No not today. I don’t think he even knew what hit him. I lightly poked his eye and while he was still dealing with that taught him how a proper right is thrown. He staggered a couple steps back and fell on his backside. I still have that 100 meter speed on me, nimedhibitisha leo. Within the twinkle of an eye nilikua nimepiga hiyo corner ya macontainer, nyuma ya police post, nimechomoka huko mcfries, hadi ile base ya mogoka ya mkisii. Nikapata boda boda ameniingiza Hizi sides za Nairobi West Hospital kuna arif wangu Mwest Africa leo nitalala kwake.

[LongerTime]

@uwesmake

but si unajuwa kuna curfew , the cop mara ya kwanza told you uende nyumbani that is when unge mu approach umwambie not wishing him away with funny excuses za unangoja kupickiwa ama ungeingia vichochoro immediately after warning not prancing like you are Rambo , communication muhimu. infact nyahunyo ungekula in the first meet.

I agree, but mi nilikua najua curfew ni 11 P.M. And even then, would you really expect someone to beat you up with a nyahunyo cause of breaking a curfew? That’s just idiotic. Si wangeoffer hata kunipeleka home.

[LuandaMagere]

@LongTime

I was coming from South C just peacefully walking towards Nairobi West just a bit past West Malls when this landcruiser pulls up infront of me. The driver rolls down his window and tells me “Shenzi wewe rudi kwa Nyumba.” I try my best to answer as calmly as possible, “Ehh nimepigia mtu, nachukuliwa tu hapa Nairobi West”.
I thought that was that and continued walking nonchalantly towards Nairobi West. Like 10 seconds later nimeskia Nyahunyo mzito kwa mabega. Hata before I can react naskia jacket imevutwa amenipendua na kunishika jacket kwa shingo. Son of a bitch gave me a proper punch on the left side of my face. Naihisi hadi saa hii my face is throbbing. So bitch started pulling me towards the landcruiser. ati “Tunapenda majeuri kama wewe. Nakuambia uende nyumbani unatembea ni kama uko harusi?” I tried to protest “Na si nimekuambia naja kuchukuliwa hapa Nairobi West!”
Idiot starts setting his body up like someone who is about to swing another nyahunyo at me. I’m not about to take another lash. No not today. I don’t think he even knew what hit him. I lightly poked his eye and while he was still dealing with that taught him how a proper right is thrown. He staggered a couple steps back and fell on his backside. I still have that 100 meter speed on me, nimedhibitisha leo. Within the twinkle of an eye nilikua nimepiga hiyo corner ya macontainer, nyuma ya police post, nimechomoka huko mcfries, hadi ile base ya mogoka ya mkisii. Nikapata boda boda ameniingiza Hizi sides za Nairobi West Hospital kuna arif wangu Mwest Africa leo nitalala kwake.

…angekupiga kureport huyo jangili ingekuwa useless…;…

[Jimjones]

@LongTime

I was coming from South C just peacefully walking towards Nairobi West just a bit past West Malls when this landcruiser pulls up infront of me. The driver rolls down his window and tells me “Shenzi wewe rudi kwa Nyumba.” I try my best to answer as calmly as possible, “Ehh nimepigia mtu, nachukuliwa tu hapa Nairobi West”.
I thought that was that and continued walking nonchalantly towards Nairobi West. Like 10 seconds later nimeskia Nyahunyo mzito kwa mabega. Hata before I can react naskia jacket imevutwa amenipendua na kunishika jacket kwa shingo. Son of a bitch gave me a proper punch on the left side of my face. Naihisi hadi saa hii my face is throbbing. So bitch started pulling me towards the landcruiser. ati “Tunapenda majeuri kama wewe. Nakuambia uende nyumbani unatembea ni kama uko harusi?” I tried to protest “Na si nimekuambia naja kuchukuliwa hapa Nairobi West!”
Idiot starts setting his body up like someone who is about to swing another nyahunyo at me. I’m not about to take another lash. No not today. I don’t think he even knew what hit him. I lightly poked his eye and while he was still dealing with that taught him how a proper right is thrown. He staggered a couple steps back and fell on his backside. I still have that 100 meter speed on me, nimedhibitisha leo. Within the twinkle of an eye nilikua nimepiga hiyo corner ya macontainer, nyuma ya police post, nimechomoka huko mcfries, hadi ile base ya mogoka ya mkisii. Nikapata boda boda ameniingiza Hizi sides za Nairobi West Hospital kuna arif wangu Mwest Africa leo nitalala kwake.

A long time ago, tales!

[uhondo]

@LongTime

Boss ningeingia hio landcruiser ningeona siku mrefu. This nigga looked like he was high on weed.

I’ve been in very tricky situations with Kenyan cops and what got me out unscathed is predictability and acting in a manner that dispels any notion that ‘wewe ni mjeuri’. You are taking chances with a man that’s poorly trained, deep in poverty, and has a gun…and perhaps is also under the influence.

Count yourself lucky.

[uwesmake]

@LongTime

I agree, but mi nilikua najua curfew ni 11 P.M. And even then, would you really expect someone to beat you up with a nyahunyo cause of breaking a curfew? That’s just idiotic. Si wangeoffer hata kunipeleka home.

:D:D:D:D:D kuwanga serious boss, first of all ignorance is not a defence, second kwani curfew ikianza 6 months ago hukuona magava wakinyeshea watu nyahunyo ama ur a visitor in jerusalem

[LongerTime]

@Cracken

Una bahati hawakuamua wapime hiyo speed yako na risasi…

That was at the back of my mind the whole time. But kama ushacommit kuresist ushacommit. There’s no turning back.

[LongerTime]

@uhondo

I’ve been in very tricky situations with Kenyan cops and what got me out unscathed is predictability and acting in a manner that dispels any notion that ‘wewe ni mjeuri’. You are taking chances with a man that’s poorly trained, deep in poverty, and has a gun…and perhaps is also under the influence.

Count yourself lucky.

Sawa, but ukishakula nyahunyo ya mgongo and a punch to the face, sasa all bets are off. Like Tyson used to say. “Every man has a plan. Until they get punched in the face.”

[DrZeus]

It’s very disgusting how many people are prepared to excuse ukatili wa hawa wakora masquerading as police

@LongTime

I agree, but mi nilikua najua curfew ni 11 P.M. And even then, would you really expect someone to beat you up with a nyahunyo cause of breaking a curfew? That’s just idiotic. Si wangeoffer hata kunipeleka home.

[bra_bra_cupship]

hehehe
jicho is the right place to hit those buggers. lazima ataendea painkillers bila kupenda. you have just commited him to a quarantine of no direct light to that eye for three good days, and mild throbbing pain iko na double vision. bastard will be forced to tilt head just to look sideways

seems like worse than what he did to you

[kukuru_kakara]

@LuandaMagere

kenya police imejaa majangili…and there are chances that ghel and her sister are officially [SIZE=7]sex slaves coz of the power difference[/SIZE]…am assuming she accepted the offer… ([SIZE=7]ghels are rotten today[/SIZE])…

How on earth do you say the latter after saying the former? Ushasema power dynamics tena rotten?
How?

[Rene_Descartes]

Hao watu ni bure. nilipitana nao wakiweka watu wamevaa mask chini ya pua kwa lorry. They should be using reasonable means.
It’s good you ran fast because I am sure if the colleagues had been ready enough they would have shot you. Best thing is to avoid them.

[mkenya_alisi]

As many talkers have advised dont ever try that again my bro. This is like a death wish. Thank the gods that you escaped. Kenyan police are unhumanly human. Maybe next time this happens we will see something like this in the press: Police are seeking public assistance in identifying the body of unidentified african male found dumped in a bush yesterday along Nairobi West area. The unidentified body was found in a ditch. It is suspected that the deseased may have also been strangled. His body was already in as state of decomposition. His identity is unknown and circumstances surrounding his death is also unknown. A post mortem will be conducted to establish the exact cause of death.
The cause of murder is under investigation. Anyone who can assist police in identifying the deceased or may know anything about the murder is asked to contact DCI office or police hotline 999. All information is strictly confidential

[Old_Monk]

Ungekufa kikondoo kama hungempoke jicho.

Resiting lawful arrest is something else.

[BBIsiMuhimu]

Hao si watu. Hawana utu.

https://i.ibb.co/wMGLBzb/IMG-20201108-064044.jpg

[T.Vercetti]

Kuna mtu atatolewa stress ya hio jicho plus woe unto the young man who looks like you who will be walking around past curfew in the coming days.

[RV_Pundit]

Kwanza cops useing a nyahunyo is illegal. What they can or can not use is prescribed by law.

[Elungata]

@LongTime

I’m still assessing my injuries. I’ve got a sharp pain on the left side of my face, halfway between the ear and the eye. Amenigwara left arm ngozi imetoka. Skin iko red kwa mabega mahali nyahunyo ililand. Other than that I think am fine. Or at least I hope I am fine.

Ha ha ha,what is Nyahunyo mbay the way…?

[Lordsavegery]

usiuziwe uoga na hawa… as long as mimi sioni akiwa na gun and he is alone. tunaangushana