If you thought that having 3 Baby-mommas was Hard; Try Being a Baby Daddy to All your kids during this Festive Season.
I want all my kids to feel my Love during this time of the year because i was once young and though we didnt have much,i know what efforts my parents went through this time of the year every year of my childhood just to make me and my siblings appreciate Christmas! I remember that me ,my siblings and all our cousins would get shipped in a convoy of cars from "nyairofi" to ocha two or three weeks prior to X-Mas day. In the Back of the boots of my dads and my 2 uncles` cars were a Goat,a sheep our changing Clothes for the next few weeks and a few crates of Soda. (Not in any Particular Order!)
We would then arrive at my Shosho`s place late in the evening and for some weird reason,…it seemed that it was always raining in "ocha"and it was dark and abnormally quiet!..
Our Parents would spend that night with us and they would be gone the following day with promises of coming back in a few weeks time with our Christmas Presents and with strict Instructions for us to “Not Misbehave”
From that Day till Christmas eve, we were under the Strict but Loving Care of “Cucu”
Cucu was not to be messed with but she was so Gracious and Kind and as much as we got on her nerves during the Day, she always had love for us in the evening and she would come up with ways of entertaining us under the light of the only “tawa” in her two bedroom house!..
I fondly remember her using her fingers to make Animal Characters on the wall against the Light of the Lamp and she would have us guessing what animal it was!..
Then 2 or 3 days before X-mass our parents would arrive to be told of who caused what mischief under the Totalitarian Rule of “Cucu”…
I remember really annoying my cucu by breaking the most productive branch of her most productive Coffee tree while me and my cousins were playing Hide and Seek and when my mum heard about my Crimes,she decided that i wasnt going to have my new pair of trousers ... zilikuwa zinaitwa "Jacksons".......and they had a Guitar thing on the Label. I dread to think what she would have done to me if she knew that "Nyaguthii" my Cucus Favourite Cow`s Calf had indulged me in Oral Sex!..(Calf-Job)
Oh… Sweet Memories!..
And for this reason only, i have decided to be a Great Dad for all my kids this Christmas But ofcourse the Complexity of Modern Family Structures means that i have to “Cheza Chini” as my German “Nigger” @Jirani might say!
Hii wiki it was all about Shopping (which i Hate) plus Decorating the house by putting up the Christmas trees etc… and then the mothers have their own opinions on where the decorations need to go (which brings out the Past in our disagreements) …bla bla fukcing BLA!.. And its All Doing my Head in But i have to keep reminding myself to keep it together for the Kids` sake.
And thats just the Recent Baby-momma!.. One Down…,Two To Go!..
Wish Me Luck Talkerz… And Have Yourselves a Happy Maafaking Krismass!!!..
Thank God This Time Next week nitakuwa Mtaani on my Own “Hanyaring” For Christmas!!!..
Its been 3 years and i need more than Google Maps to venture into the Nairobi and Mombasa Nightlife.
Who is willing to show me Around Talkerz?
(And i am neither asking the Males nor the She-males)… Kikikiiiikkiiiikkiiiiiiii…
Ahem!!