One way to skin a cat. : Easter holidays and Babymomma issues!

So, babymomma number 3. has been playing up with access to my little girl.

She is the user type of Kyuk woman who thinks that she can manipulate any man into being a puppet juu she has a good career and she is cute.
I don’t take kindly to women like these!
If anything,I get an immense amount of pleasure from shagging women like her for sport, just as a challenge to my ego!

Anyway, that is how I impregnated her 8 years ago.

Since then, kazi ni kusumbuana Tu .
She thought she could get away with my sperm lakini unfortunately, I bonded with our daughter like I never expected!
I mean,I held our daughter for over five hours after she was born because mummy was going through the aftermath of a “kiserian” section and it was left to me and the kind nurses to dress her up etc…
One of the nurses actually adviced me to unbutton my shirt just so that our daughter would make contact with my bare body and it breaks my heart every time I think about that moment when she attempted to suckle on my man boob!..
The innocence of moments like these creates an unbreakable bond with your kids like you will never know!

And then we broke up because she couldn’t let go of her ex !
We did a DNA test and I knew from thnen on it would be an uphill struggle because she was still in love with her ex!

Fast forward!..

Last summer, me and her were on an agreement that I would do the school run on our daughter (nampeleka shule, alafu namdondoa jioni.)
It was a perfect arrangement juu it suited us jobwise.

But being the calculating cow that she is, it didn’t take long before I noticed her disrespecting our arrangement by coming home too late etc. And before long, I discovered that she was having an affair with one of her colleagues!
( either she was or my paranoia went on overdrive!)…

I am a son of the Maumau and I will be damned if I have to babysit while a woman goes to get shagged by some other dude!..

Reke Nemwo!!!

And so it was, I told her point blank, I wasn’t prepared for such shyte and out of her contempt, she said that I would never see my little girl ever again!

I missed out on her summer holidays, Halloween, Christmas and all of last year!

Lakini I was determined to see my girl over Easter holidays!

So, in the last few weeks I hatched up a plan.

I don’t want to take her through the courts juu it takes too long and I honestly can’t afford it!
What to do?!!..
The thug in me came through!..
Last week, I texted her lying that I was consulting my solicitor and that if she had one week to get back to me on my visitations otherwise a case would be filed against her on Friday!..

She called my bluff just like I expected because she is a fruit cake but that was not the end of it!..

I knew I had to do better than that to get her attention!

A good jungu colleague of mine is married to a Thai woman and we are really friends.
He’s also a divorcee and so he relates to everything I’m going through with my ex!

Me and him hatch up a plan that involves him phoning my Kyuk ex on Friday morning and pretending to be a Solicitor (lawyer) from some solicitors firm acting to represent me.

I know that my ex girlfriend arrives home after dropping my daughter to school at exactly 9.05.

9.07 I block called I.D on my phone and my mate is on the phone to my ex!.. Infront of him, I have scripted Everything he needs to say word for word!..

"Good morning miss kabuda,…

I am Phil Thomas from phil and Courtney family solicitors.
My client kabuda of such and such address has approached us etc etc…
We would like to resolve this issue without going to court because it’s in your own interest…
Any child by law in the UK has the right to know their father and mother circumstances not withstanding!..
My mate is a great actor and the best thing about this is that I have Sunday and Monday morning to spend with my daughter!!!

Didn’t cost me a Penny and I don’t even have to deal with her!..

In life, there is always a solution to every problem.
You just have to find it!




Niaje @Mrs Shosho

hii mambo ya ati utaona mtoto between 09:37 and 09:41 ni gani sasa?
nilijua ukijifanya unataka mtoto sana utaishi kusumbuliwa na jike pumbaff ata uende korti gani.
baba zetu walikuwa wanapanda na wanajitoa mtoto utaletewa baadaye wakipenda. na mara nyingi ukipenda unaletewa upeleke shule na stori inaishia hapo.
madame hujifanya wanapenda watoto kuliko baba zao na ni uongo.wanatumia watoto for self gratification and as bait for men. its never unconditional wit them.


inanikumbusha hii scene

Hizi mashida zote just because you failed to wear a condom.

Too right bro!.
Lakini I believe that the effort you put in being part of your children’s upbringing is the difference between them turning out to be machokosh or them being dignified human beings.
I will not tire from trying to get be on the right side!

Simplistic immature conclusion.

Said a miserable kunguru.
You could benefit from a good shag you sad mare.

Usijali, kusota ni Kwa muda.
By Monday mshande itaingia ununue bundles.


Hehe. Maybe he uses condoms (french letters) manufactured by rivals of durex. Nobody can put themselves through all this trouble just for dry-fry.


Uko majuu na unaelewa stori za bundles mmh!
Anyway napita tu

I actually read and it was interesting

hakunanga bundles huko?

Hata majuu kuna bundles called Data by another name but only for the few people who don’t take up contract pay monthly fixed plans phones which works out cheaper.
Lakini I visit Kenya often and naelewa juu ya bundles.
Kitu sijawai elewa ni Mpesa.