Coincidentally after reading kabuda’s post, I got to talk to a single mother today.It was the kind of hekaya unabaki ukisema enyewe watu wamepitia mengi.
I just realized that we refer to “Single Mother” as if it a proper noun, as if they all fall under one category like all pots are black.
These ladies have all gone through different circumstances. The one I was talking to was a naive 17 year old who was dry friend the first time by an agemate in those green lodgings huko Matuu and got PG with all the innocence and naivety of a teenager from bunduz za ukambani…blame Kalonzo et al.
Years later she’s now successful and independent and all she’s been praying for is someone who can grow old with her. But then Murphy’s law says that some guy will see this vulnerability and top layer in you and bounce after taking his slices to realize you’re onto the second child years later in your mid 30s. Guy is not around to take responsibility having landed in prison for some shady deals, rumor has it that he wanted her $$, so he impregnated her ya kumtega.
They call it life, inaitwa ka-life.
if alien were reading what we think of the women we term single mothers they might think they are the worst criminals on the planet
kama irikuwa mimi ningepaka slice brueband na nirarue!
sympathy wachia NGO!
The only difference between animals and human beings is emotions & their ability to lie…in the relationship everyone has their motive from the onset. if they are not common one party suffers, mostly the desperate one. If she was not a victim of rape, she is a single mum by choice!
A smart single mother knows that her uterus is not a charity or a dustbin for any man to deposit his seed then unamzalia na unamlelea mtoto. Experience has taught us that. The first time u conceive ur allowed to blame it on naivety, but the 2nd time shows how stupid n gullible ur. The only other guy who is worth u carrying another baby 4 is the one who put a ring on that finger.
This is what we call upuss of the highest degree.
Very true but in theory when it comes to practicals the opposite holds sway. Most single mothers are very easy and when they get a man who looks promising they try the entrapment thing so gets pged and the dude runs thats why you find most of them have more tha one kid and others are big customers for the likes of Dr kauzis.
Thats wy i said they are stupid n gullible because if the man who fathered ur first kid never stayed, what makes u think u can trap this other one with getting another kid?
@Nananimpa you have it the other way around. The guy is the one who trapped the lady with the kid.
Were they married b4 she decided to concieve? And please note the idea of trapping came from @mtu chuma and we took it from there. I have not judged anyone…
@Nananimpa they had been seeing each other for a while. And 
for bringing up mtu chuma.
This entrapment story came from the horse’s mouth. They used protection but a week later the guy became angel Gabriel and said she is pregnant. Only when she got tested did she realize what she’d got herself into. Once that happened he said she had no choice but to marry him. While this was in play, guy ended up in jail.
Ur not getting my point. I am saying that a smart single mother always wait for the ring then anapata mimba. Always use contraceptives if ur getting dry fried. Its not good to bring kids up without both a mother n a father. Unfortunately it happens to us n u find urself a single mother but after it happens once, u shud guard against subjecting yet another kid from being brought up without a father figure.
Hi @Nananimpa
I do not want to start another fight with you But i think we all have to admit that 99% of women who find themselves being Labelled as Single mothers brought it unto them one way or the other.
Mostly because they were young and naive or just down-right Selfish.
(From hoping to “trap” the guy they first fell in love with to having babies as a "meal ticket " to Free housing and a Passport etc…)
The same women hit their mid thirties and wake up to the realisation that Not only are they Lonely,but that their kids are “inadequate” from the lack of a father figure in their lives!
These women are mostly ambitious so they are at this stage Financially Stable and are able to meet the Emotional needs of their kid/s…
Lakini its very obvious to them that they are Bankrupt when it comes to meeting their Kids` Emotional/ Paternal needs.
That is when they now go on the Prawl again… this time looking for Genuine love from Any man that is willing to offer it…
Some will find it But Most wont. And when they cant find it, that is when they start seeking the father of their kids in a bid to have them back again.
They cause drama because you have moved on and they are jealous… if they are not seeking Child Maintainance, they are denying you Visitations so maisha yako sasa as the Original “Sperm Donour” to a Selfish Woman who was too blind and Naive in their 2os you spend it in Family Courts paying expensive Lawyers just so you are able to see your kids etc…
And all these could have been avoided if the Woman had “good intentions” from the word Go!
And that is my Beef with the Modern Single Mothers .
Niuguo!..
Pole kaka brasa!
Never mind me!..
Pole to you my Sister. You are one of them.
But why would i expect you to have made any of the bad choices that i have described above?.. Afterall,you are a Woman!
And Modern Women are ALWAYS Right.
…following closely
First child: innocence, naivety, powerlessness in the case of forced sex;
Second & the rest: lingering naivety, what ka-buda calls downright selfishness and plain recklessness if that pregnancy is not intentional.
Hata CD/contraceptive ikifail, there is an array of options to avoid 18+ years of parenting an unwanted child. Finally, a man who sticks around reluctantly because he was ‘entrapped’ is not worthy of the title ‘father’.