Suicide watch alert. Below is a short list of infamous jaduongs who have refused to accept fate and reality.
They still insist that baba won. They need to be monitored carefully before they hurl themselves into the lake.
NUMBER 1. Jasper Otieno Obonyo AKA Calixtus Obonyo seremala ya nywele AKA Kinyozi @Tom Bayeye Obonyo Otieno.
ID number : 4670432 Siaya
AGE : 48
CAREER : Barber in Ruaka. Part time waiter, caddy, Tigoni golf club.
COMMENTS : Has attempted suicide twice before, after baba lost raucously and stupendously. Attempted suicide both times by swallowing methylated spirit ya kunyoa futhi. Kinyozi @Tom Bayeye Otieno has not been seen online since the court verdict was read.
NUMBER 2: Jerome Okatch Biggy Ochollah Ndege AKA Biggie Smalls AKA @Swansea Sura Mbaya Ochollah.
Passport Number: A426792S Kendu Bay Siaya
Age : 53
Chosen career : Walmart Truck Driver in Maryland. Part time podcast host for a show called : LUOS FOR BIDEN.
COMMENTS : Hates Trump and Ruto equally. Compares both to saitan. @Swansea Ochollah has unsuccessfully attempted suicide 8 times after multiple Raila and Hillary Rodham massive election loses. Preffered methods include driving into Lake Victoria, diving naked into lake Victoria, diving naked into Lake Centennial Maryland etc. @Swansea is very fat. Weighs 147 kg plus 14.4 kg foreskin and often floats to the surface to be rescued by fishermen.
NUMBER 3 : Jimmy Orengo Onyango AKA Drake Quavo Onyango AKA Young Weezy AKA @Jimit Adolphus Onyango.
ID Number : 42965274 Mlango Kubwa Mathare
Age : 28
Chosen career : First year law drop out Maseno university. Hasora. Sells second hand phones.
COMMENTS : Conman. Pretends to be a lawyer, who is well versed in constitutional law. Calls himself Jimmy Orengo Junior. Single father of 6 boys by 3 different mothers. Absentee father. Has voted twice in his life and attempted suicide both times. Rabid Rayila supporter. Prefers jumping off balconies. Both times his foreskin was caught by powerlines.
NUMBER 4 : Abraham Shikwekwe Oluoch AKA Shikwekwe AKA Father Abraham AKA Uncle @Abba AKA Nabongo Mumias Jr.
ID Number : 579823 Mumias Royal Kingdom
AGE : 67
Chosen career : Conman. Owns multiple fake NGOs funded by George Soros, USAID and U.N.
COMMENTS : Father Abraham is half Luo half Muteso Mumiasi. Father Abraham is a father of many children. Father Abraham has many sons. @Abba has 63 children and 42 wives most of them underage school girls. He considers himself the next Nabongo but locals avoid him because he is half njaruo. In 2022 he ran for MCA on ODM ticket and failed miserably. To make matters worse his role model Raila also lost. @Abba also considers himself the next kingpin of Nyanza politics. Rabid Obama supporter. @Abba attempted suicide once in 2007 after Raila lost. He did so by jumping into a cane crusher at Mumias sugar factory. He was rescued after his foreskin got snagged before he could get crushed. The 2022 lose has hit @Abba very hard indeed.
NUMBER 5 : Karl Lagerfeld Okwiri AKA @administrator AKA @Old Monk AKA Dikteta.
ID Number : 666 Kisumu
AGE: 45
Pronouns : they/them
CHOSEN CAREER : IT Expert
COMMENTS : Dikteta @Old Monk does not tolerate anyone who is against Obama, Rayila, Biden , ODM or the gay community where he is a member . Like Wajackoyah @Old Monk is a former military, highly trained cyber expert. In 2018 he fell out with Jakom because of handshake. He fell into depression and g.ay sex. In 2022 despite being a database expert he refused to help baba and left baba to be conned by George Njoroge and Jose Carmago. @Old Monk voted for Ruto but later regretted the betrayal. He tried to convince IEBC officials to let him change his vote but he was denied entry and told it is too late. He attempted suicide by swallowing battery acid but only ended up burning his anus. Now he is recuperating his burnt rectum while watching Ruto’s swearing in preparations.
SPECIAL MENTIONS : James Itina Wanaruona and Bethwell Githita Kanguthu. Homosexual Lovers. Both of them Kikuyus who worship Raila and Obama. These two mungikis should be monitored very carefully because they might commit suicide together on President Ruto’s swearing day. They have not been seen online since the judgement.
SPECIAL COMMENDATION AWARD : Dedan Waciuri @Sambamba AKA Big booty cheeks . Waciuri coined the phrase Jambazi Sugu la miraba nne lenye misuli tinginya Kutoka Sugoi ( JSKS). Waciuri like his namesake is a true socialist and rabid Raila supporter. @Sambamba loves Socialist China, Russia, Cuba and Raila Amolo Odinga.
Waciuri has swallowed defeat like a true competitor and he deserves the special commendation award. But like a typical Kikuyu from Kangema, @Sambamba has jumped ship and refused to stay in opposition. He has been observed pretending not to know what JSKS means. He was heard pretending and asking, “Na hii JSKS huwa inamaanisha nini juu sijui?”
But because this lose is massive and monumental he should be monitored carefully as swearing in approaches because anything is possible. @Sambamba who is a gambling man lost a huge bet against the Supreme court verdict.
