NIMERUDISHWA HOME UNCEREMONIOUSLY

Swara inakupataga when you least expect it. Thats what befell me and early this morning nimejipata JKIA having lost my job and the priviledge to ever step foot in the UAE courtesy of a ban and deportation. In layman’s language nimerudishwa home.

Sijui kama niliwapatia hii hekaya but there was a time, a couple of months ago when I met this Indian girl who was still new in town na nikamuweka mbox na kumpeleka base yangu nikakamua HKKM. I went ahead and kamuad a couple more shots on subsequent days.

So yesterday morning nimetulia kwa room being my off day, naskia kukibishwa. Kufungua napata ni hako kadem kako kwa mlango but she aint alone. She got company who turns out to be two Emirati cops smartly dressed in their brown uniform. So nikaambiwa tupelekane hadi kwa station. Kufika huko naambiwa ati nimetinga dem ball and yet she aint my wife. The law is very clear about such incidents and knowing the outcome I knew it was a done deal. Being an African, trust me I dint stand no chance with the emiratis.

So I called my boss (ule nlipata akichukua sheria mkononi in his office sometime back) and he sends someone over to meet me at the police station and find out what the problem was. The girl having been forced to a medical check up by her employer and confirmed pregnant had to go back to India and being that I was ‘responsible’ for the pregnancy I also had to go. The presence of my boss’ admin assistant dint help much as he was instructed to bring my documents to the internal ministry/immigration office for them to process my papers, basically to cancel my visa and revoke my work permit. I thought I would be taken to court to plead guilty or not lakini wapi.

I was thrown into the cell to await my fate. There I met a couple of Kenyans, Nigerians and Asians held on different offenses. I ended up beating one Indian seriously when he tried bullying me and I guess that sealed my fate.

At about 11.30 at night they came for me and I was escorted by the police in a Ford Mustang to the airport as all the arrangements had already been made. (Btw I enjoyed the ride). I was put on a Qatar air plane to Doha and got a connecting flight to Nairobi. And just like that yangu ikaisha. Am back in Nairobi, Kenya bila form and all this because of an innocent act of coetus and not being given a chance to explain. Haisuru, I will be back after this anger has subsided. I feel like strangling someone right now only that sijui nani ata offer shingo yake for it. Leaving the airport now heading home. cc @Lab so long bro.

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When is today?

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pole mblo…kweli ufisi ni expensive hope your mbesha account is intact…

Vaa helmet

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keep them coming.

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April fools day

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how does a chic get paged from HKM? kwani her internal plumbing was done by whom?

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Brare meffi ya mwarabu. Pereka April fools huko ----------------->

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venye @kasee amesema

leo hakuna hekaya nitaamini.

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:D:D:D:D

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Reminds me of an incident where we were getting sewage mixed with water in kasarani apparently due to some messed plumbing somewhere. Probably, her rectovaginal septum is porous.

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Mdinyano is the downfall to many.

On behalf of the chairperson and the board of Trustees, Team Dry Fry unite in solemn to condemn with strongest terms possible the unfortunate turn of events…

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hata kama ni hekaya ya fools day, bado nacheka yangu yote, Ufisi ni Gharama kweli

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Hkkm siku izi inapea watu mimba?

hehehehe

hehehe…
huyu ni mama ya mtu?