swafi
the year was 2013 , nimeshika lorry mbili za ngombe halipi loan hapo nikalipa auctioneer 100k akanichapa 40% yangu as pre-agreed , na ni end month , navy seal nikasema bibi ataniona sunday jioni , nikapigia boy wangu baba Ljunberg tupatane hapo city center . huyo mimi X6 mpaka hapo samba mahali waluhya hupenda .
’ niaje anko kwani iko nene’
'niko ngangari chief pewa tano kwanza ’
tukamumunya ma tusker , tukasema hapo mbele we have a long night tusichape Jameson tushindwe kazi . kufika saa tano bibi akapiga simu
’ Uwesmakei uko wapi , kwani haukuji nyumbani , jana ulichelewa juzi same nini mbaya na wewe ’
’ my dear priss nimekutana na baba Ljunberg kiasi tunameza nakuja hebu ongea na yeye ’
wingman akachukua simu ’ semeji , kijana ako sawa tunameza tu tatu juu ya jam ya mombasa road tukuje ’
hapo uwongo ikakam through
’ ankle tuingie ngong road but twende na merc yangu since hio beast yako inashout sanaa ’
’ swafi jatelo’
nikapark X6 KICC
there is a brothel on ngong road with fwain young girls opposite green house those days it had a white gate but nowadays the gate is black . so hao sisi chwii enroute (on these Helmand missions in order to get 100% success rate up Tora bora mountains , since you will spend money lazima tununue VEGA 100 pale chemist za uptown ,za downtown huwa fake , story for another day ) , tukaenda tukafika parking yake ni ndogo but waheshimiwa tukapata , we downed our pills by the door . ndani we took our tuskers and started sampling the latest and youngest and for me most momoic . nikaona kasomali fulani kapya very cute si momo but colour iko sawa sura iko sawa kamkia kako on point
'baba Ljunberg weee acham alshabab ni , aduogo sani ’
chapchap tukapanda stairs nikanyandua moja , tamu saidi nikamwambia instead of leaving anipe shot ingine which would be cheaper for me coz ill only pay 1000 coz normally the fee is 2000 , thao ya mdosi na thao ya dem . so shot mbili 3k instead of 4 . nikasema vile VAT haikuwa imeongezwa hio time hapo nimepata deal murwa . 1 hour later nikashuka tukameza tusker baba Ljunberg akapotea pia kedo 1 hour kunyandua murwanda fulani momo . madem wa shift ya saa nane wakaingia waaaaaahh vitu swafi . nika summon kamomo kamoja
’ naitwa Uncle pewa chenye unakunywa ’
’ thanks ankol wacha nichukue nikam ’
the shy girl akachukua hapo black ice nne , na mujue pombe ni 250 . mjulubeng ( i cant believe i have used this schupid millennial sheng ) imembao saidi dem anai papasa polepole chini ya woyes . baba Ljunberg akakuom aki smile na hio ngombe yake wakakaa hapo nikajua amecheza kama navy seal , shot mbili .
'baba angalia maneno wacha niongee naa mrembo ’
We went upstairs into the room past msomali , ananiangalia vibaya as if mimi ni bwana yake.
momo alitoa dera banaaaaaa kitu swafi ya yellow shape imekubali mimi huyo nikavua kila kitu CD mara hiyo , as all men will attest ukikula kitu swafi mupya wise guy huwa alert na unamwaga chap chap after some pumping nikamwaga kuangalia CD ilikuwa hakuna banaa ring tuu (though niliskia ikipasuka but nikasema nimwage kabla mdudu askie)
’ sasa hizo ni gani anko , yaani umenichapa dwyfwy ’
’ my deer hata sikujua ’
’ aiih, wankle hapa lazima twende hapa nairobi womens tufanyiwe test ’
’ isokei but vile ishapasuka , mimi najua niko sawa je wewe ’
’ mimi niko poa hata hapa sisi hufanyiwa test weekly ’
’ swafi basi wacha nikule ingine moja dwyfwy then tuende hio test ’
dem akafikiria mara kama fifty but ame penda mboro ya bukusu , shingo upande akasema
’ sawa but utalipa 2k ango ’
'swadakta ’
nikasema kufa dereva kufa abiria . dereva ni mulevi , makanga ni mwizi , abiria ni mijinga . mbaya mbaya
saa hizo bana vega iko chonjo wise guy amembao kama @tarantinho akichunga lantana camara pale kimilili forest (no homo) nikanyandua kitu dryfry , utamu ulioje kaka dem aliwika kama punda milia ikizaa ngombe . banaa simwagiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
’ unaniumizaaa’
‘kidogo tu my deer nakam’
there is something in the mind about a girll saying unamuumiza saa hiyo kuma ni dry kama Gatundu desert kuma iko tight , i dont know kama am a sadist but dem vile alianza kulia nephrones zikaimba haleluhya na nikamwaga (though ilikuwa kama strungi yaani haina maziwa) hapo nika cum dem aki sob . hapo nika piga mbicha using my eye phone chini ya woyes dem akivaa nguo . Nairobi womens is just next door to the brothel tukaingia hapo ngangari saa kumi usiku ,bukusu i never scare , i was circumcised from the river at 5 in the morning .
’ habari daktari bibi yangu hapa ako na mimba tuliambiwa ni vizuri tupimwe angalau tujue vile kutaenda ’
tukapimwa in presence of each other banaa double lines zikaonekana kama kawa seal team six captain nilikuwa mswafi kama pampers , ‘bibi’ ’ pia likuwa mswafi kama cotton . nikasema ahsande mungu . tukarudi kumeza tusker . after shocks za VEGA zili kick in the next day story for another day . ningeweka picha but hii sekshen ni ya hekaya
MORAL OF THE STORY
ukienda marathon ya kutomba malaya meza VEGA 100 si 50 .
