Navigating Neighbours

I have this neighbour. I won’t lie she is hot beyond measure. I think yuko late 20s, with 2 kids. Sijui kama ni msomali, ama mwarabu ama ethiopian. She has all those traits. She has a boyfriend and a baby daddy. The boyfriend I think ni mwarabu, he drives a very sleek range rover sport. We’ve talked once, I asked him to mentor me, he said yes,but we’ve never talked again. The baby daddy is a confused pilot. But I know he gets slices once in a while. Anyway, so I’m a firm believer in B.I.G.s words “never sell no crack where you rest at, I don’t care if they want an ounce, tell 'em bounce”. And I always try my best never to sell any crack where I rest at.
Now my issue is that this girl keeps coming to borrow a wine opener. I know she can afford one and she should buy her own. But she keeps coming to borrow mine. And these days am getting attached to her coming. I even look forward to it. The most worrying part is that now I’m fantasizing about her. I’m picturing having sex with her. Luckily sina number yake. Otherwise ningekua nishachoma vibaya


About neighbours, it wouldnt be my first time. I’ve made that mistake twice before. The most notorious being when I had an affair with a married neighbour for probably a whole year. One time tulikua church Don Bosco and it’s like every word the priest was saying was directed at us. The old man finally came to know I was eating from his plate. Sadly he passed away, but he left her a hefty amount of property. She nearly went mentally unstable at some point. We are now just pals… and I think she must be approaching 40 now and no longer sexually attractive.

Utatupea habari tukiwa hapa hapa

Rushia mimi number yake I revive her sexual urges

sielewi unakutana tu na mtu hujui ( you have only spoke once) then juu anaendesha range sport then una shout ‘MENTOR ME! MASTER’

from your comments in the village you come out as very strange

how old are you , 14 ?

I know he farms. I am new to farming.

There’s nothing strange with taking your chances when you get them. I knew a bit about him, before talking to him

These are the types of posts we get when high school vipiis join the forum. Its about time I shifted to Senate fully.

Chifu mbitika mentors young farmers here but the best mentor I can refer to you is @patco he will mentor you till you are mented

The guy who talks on things he doesnt know about? lol/
Let me make a promise. In 15 years al make more in a day than all of you in a year combined.
Idiots don;t know how to grow

Your best move is to gift her the wine opener. No matter how pretty they are it is never worth it.

The odd thing with female neighbors whether umemkula or not, after umeleta kunguru sleepover the next day they start behaving like you cheated on them. Whether they’re married or not, it’s a concept I’m yet to fully get a grip on.

Situation sounds very familiar, which sides of Nairobi do you stay?

Kama unamjua then yes, ninaishi huko. No need to say it out loud though.

I normally don’t mess with ladies with kids but damn, that lady is FINE. Ningekuwa wewe ningekula hizo vitu.

Naona unamjua. Damn. Utafanya nihepe forum ama nibadilishe handle, juu kama unamjua then you are one step close kunijua.
But I agree, she is gold standard fine. Luckily I’m leaving Nairobi soon. I think I’ll try my luck after nimehama. Nitaomba number next time.

Naona nyinyi wawili mkisalimiana soon

If you see this lady @ChifuMbitika utaelewa kwanini @kalifa ameandika FINE in capital letters.

Mnipatie number yake nikuwe nachat naye