What can a guy do in case he is separated from his baby moma, they were never officially married. They initially agreed for the kid to be spending the weekends at the guy’z place but after the separation, the baby moma reneges on the agreement and states that since he broke her heart, he will never see the Kid again. She even refuses to have you speak with him on the phone. In short, if you do not reconcile with her no seeing the kid. Is there a way to solve this without going to court? There are numerous cases like this out there where men get to be labelled deadbeat and they are trying to play a part in the child’s life but the EX cannot seem to separate her feelings from such a logical arrangement.
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Wewe kwani ni mwanaume wa mbegu moja? ama after siring that kid ulifanaya vasectomy? tafuta mwanamke mwingine mpe mimba zaliwa mtoto lea acha ujinga.
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Enda kwa chief he will resolve that problem pronto.
Nb. Give him a tip so that (in) justice goes your way.
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if it is not an amicable split you cannot avoid a court process… unless the other party sober’s up [SIZE=1]or you kidnap the child[/SIZE]
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venye @mtu chuma amesema
Just keep quiet, ignore her and do not pay any money to the chick… 2 weeks maximum atakupigia simu.
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Kama wewe Ni msee WA eastlando then tembelea children’s court next to mama Lucy hosi. She will be summoned then the agreement will be in writing. It takes few days unlike the ‘real’ court which takes forever to resolve such issues.
On the positive, utakuwa Na evidence ya kuonyesha you didn’t abandon your responsibility.
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Kama ungekuwa mzazi, ungejua uchungu wa kuzuiwa kucheki mtoi wako.
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Another alternative is to get rich yani tafuta pesa then huyo mama atakutafuta.
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ION long post alert Copy Pasted
Tips for the Childless Father
If you are a “childless father,” as mentioned in the title of this note, or if you believe you will soon become one, I am writing this to you.
It’s no secret that there are many deadbeat dads out there. However, amongst those of us who have been dragged through a family court system, it is also common knowledge that many of the men who are hurled indiscriminately into the deadbeat dad category, do not fit the profile. Many of us, through the lies of an ex and the assistance of a judge, have the image of the unloving and selfish father thrust upon us, despite whatever the truth may be. Sadly, the truths of our situations are often covered up by courts, as there are rarely any court documents which contain these truths.
Whether through the deception of an ex having been coupled with the assault of a family court, or by any other means, such as large distances between parents’ homes, most of us fathers don’t stand a chance to be any significant part of our own children’s lives. We can pay child support, but in many cases, the mother teaches the child that she receives no payment from the father, and raises the child to believe the father does not love him/her.
As an example of this, I have a friend whom I’ve know for nearly twenty years. She was raised to believe that her father abandoned her and had no interest in her, and so on and so forth. Eventually, she did learn that this was a lie. Her mother did also admit to essentially destroying this “missing father,” and that she had been telling her daughter lies all her life. When she sought out her father in her attempt to form a relationship with him, she discovered that he had passed away long before.
I mention this story not just to give an example of how horrendous many women can become when given the opportunity, but because this particular friend of mine has told me more than once that an idea I had regarding my own daughter was a very good one. Because my daughter is going through some similar things as my friend has, I took her confirmation seriously.
Before I post my idea, let me first tell you that this isn’t some life changing tip. It’s really very simple, and many of you reading this may already have done the same thing, but for those of you who are at your wit’s end, and haven’t considered this yet, here’s a small, yet effective, thing you can do.
Email. Make an email address for your kid. An email address specifically for when your child is older. There’s no point in rushing to get this to your kid, because sometimes, custody situations change. This is for your son or daughter, should you not be able to keep up contact with them, until they reach, or nearly reach, adulthood. Getting the address and password to them years from now may be difficult, depending on each situation, but difficult means in no way, impossible.
If you have pictures of your child, especially ones of your child and you, send them ALL to the email. Write letters often. They don’t always have to be anything significant. Remember that the point is to combat the amount of lies your child will almost certainly be fed from his/her mother. If you try calling and “can’t get through,” write a letter that same day. This way, should your son or daughter grow up believing you missed a birthday or something, they will eventually have a message with a date attached to it, showing that indeed you did not forget.
Depending on just how bad things are or get, regarding your ex, you may even want or need to include photos of court papers. For example, I know for a fact that my ex has told my daughter I’ve left her twice. I have court documents and other records that show I was actually chasing her all over the country and that I provided evidence against many of her mother’s claims. Should she grow up without me as her mother wishes and believes her lies, she will now have the evidence against those falsehoods.
Anything and everything you can think of to include will help. As told to me by my friend, something like this would have meant the world to her in her late teens, since her father was left to the point where he couldn’t be a part of her life. It may not sound like much, and indeed it is very simple, but remember just what it is.
This is a way to eventually prove to your child that they NEVER had a father who abandoned them, stopped loving them, or stopped thinking about them. How old they are when you get the email address and all that in contains is up to you and depends heavily on your situation. That being said, odds are, the damage will be done. But that isn’t something we can control or even prevent, sadly. What we CAN do, however, is leave a series of dated records made available to them so that at some point, they will realize that we are not bad fathers, or deadbeat dads, but that we are in fact good fathers who were victimized by a corrupt court system and a sociopathic woman, which in turn victimized that very child whom is receiving these records.
This will not fix all the damage that may/will have been done to your child. But I believe whole-heartedly that it will certainly help both your child and yourself.
I also want to mention that it’s important to not allow your messages to turn into rants about your ex. It can be tricky, given the fact that even a blatant stating of the events can sound like attacks against her, because of what she’s actually done. Be sure that the emails are mainly about you and your kid. He/she doesn’t need to grow up and read a bunch of complaining about their mother, no matter how much truth the complaints may be grounded in. Keep your calm, maintain that logical attitude. It’s all about integrity. If we start going on about what rotten people their mothers are, we sound just like their mothers. True, we wouldn’t be lying, but let’s not give in to emotional outbursts. I’ll say it again; it’s all about integrity.
Well, that’s all for now. I hope some of you can find use from this little idea. It has certainly helped me maintain my sanity from time to time, and I hope it does the same for someone else.
https://www.mgtow.com/forums/topic/tip-for-the-childless-father/
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You Must move on.
hehe pragmatic but true
going through same issue. mi naona court ndio itaamua
sio rahisi hivyo buda every kid is different and the second one cannot replace the first one
mimi mtoi ako three years buda huyu dame hata ame fabricate chrges akanipeleka kwa polisi lakini ikapatikana ni uongo.mtu kama huyo hamuezi ishi pamoja tena ni suicide
Well said… always be the bigger person and dont stoop to the ex’s level because the truth will always come out.
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The biggest mistake you all did is to show your women that the kid means life to you so they are taking advantage and getting you back through the kids. I think am a cold human being, but when you try and do this shit to me i just keep my distance and leave the object (read kid ) with the mother and focus on getting a new one. Believe you me once she learns you have another pregnant woman by your side ataleta huyo mtoto by force and abandon him/her kwako. read the story of The Late Wangari Mathaii.
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Kenye najua… if you disagree with your baby mama to the point of being denied visits, anza kuwa very economic with words. Always record each and every conversation you have so that her words are kept somewhere should anyone need reference. You MUST ensure that your support is accorded to the child. Lipa fees, nunua uniform. aAlmost all of these by yourself, and send to the mother. Hakuna cha cash. Chakula the mum will provide. Wewe lipa kila kitu mpaka medical care, lakini usipeane cash hata siku moja. Na msianze verbal exchanges. She starts an exchange, you request to leave.
Siku moja ataanza kuona unashugulikia mtoto na yeye kazi yake ni kelele, kama ni mwerevu, atatii. Kama mpumbavu, kutaneni kwa korti. Toa recorded convos na uendelee kunyamaza.
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Why not just forget them and move on? Or Do like @Ice_Cube has said. [SIZE=1]Or kill the mother.[/SIZE]
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he he he wewe I hope to never short change you in real life
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