Mzito Chuck Norris. Mambo mbaya sana.

General
1

Chuck Norris is 2 minutes faster than a second.

When Alexander Graham invented the telephone, he found two missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake, after 4 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

Chuck Norris learned how to read from a book written by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once cooked a pan with food.

Chuck Norris wears sunglasses to protect the Sun.

Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.

The only reason Earth hasn’t been invaded by aliens yet is because of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris swims through concrete.

Chuck Norris taught a fish once how to swim.

If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

It was once said that when Chuck Norris from different universe fought Chuck Norris from a different universe, the Big Bang happened.

Chuck Norris once missed 2 school days; those days are called Saturday and Sunday

If you have a dream you are fighting Chuck Norris…. you wake up with a black eye

2

Oti lala buana, naona homework za them white kids zimekulemea.

3

Izo zilikuwa sifa za Babu Owino huko Comrades Forum ya Okung’ Ndege 10 years ago.

4

Nangoja my app inizimia internet alafu kutokea kesho inipimie just 2 hrs per day.

5

Niaje mauteté? Babu ni meffi

6

Omera hii ni jaba gani umetafuna?

7

My favorite was:

Death had a near-Chuck Norris experience

8

:smiley:

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9

Ati when Chuck Norris is doing press ups he is actually pushing the earth down.

10

Chuck alitandikwa na Bruce Lee hadi paka spectator ikalia. When chuck looks under his bed anaona Bruce Lee not the bogeyman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-q5FLtlUOI

11

kwani bibi alikuwekea nini kwa supper?:D. stop hallucinating

12

In the same vein, the Chinese are so many such that if they all jump up and down at the same time, Earth will sink

13

:smiley:

14

Hii ingekuwa fiti na DJ- Afro akitangaza…

15

Hii upuzi ya kutupa mateke ukipiga nduru Kyeeeee ndio ilifanya nisitrain karate.

16

Chuck Norris blood type is AK-47
Chuck Norris protects his bodyguards
Chuck Norris can divide zero

17

When Chuck Norris attends a feminist rally,he gets his shirt ironed.

18

Chuck Norris wears a hat to protect the sun from him.

19

I was once watching a movie with him in it. I said to my friend that he didn’t look that tough. Chuck Norris turned and looked at the camera and my leg broke. I’ve never doubted his abilities since then.

20

When the bogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris :smiley:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIYZVSElmj4