I had this one chick in 2012 who threw herself at me after I broke up with my girlfriend and because I needed a shoulder to cry on or some soft ground to fall back on, I decided why not. So we hit it on and I recall asking for slices kwa room ya beste yetu, that day was good, I dived in like a fisi on a rampage nikararua vitu. We organised a rematch, and agreed venue ingekua hapo kwa hao ya beshte yake since she would be away for the weekend.
The big day came, I bought some alkaidas aka condoms bought some take away fries for her and I was off to the venue. Things were going good, little chit-chat chat hapa kule her laying her head on my lap while I brushed her hair, then all of a sudden she got weird telling me she loves country music, she supported some politician I didn’t favour. She actually went ahead and put her phone on speaker playing country music, such a turn off.
Now things got more awkward when we tried having sex, I tried all kinds of fore play, we kissed, she had this extra long and hard tounge which she kept pushing into my mouth and it felt like a reptile. Now mzee abdala was flat, I decided maybe if I went down on her, the sight of pussy would arouse my ding aling. When I got down there damn the noxious fumes that met me, I nearly suffocated, I came back up so fast she must have wondered , was it hygiene or what?!
That night we slept without doing anything, sometime through the night I awoke to check on my dick if it was interested, everytime mzee abdala would be like nyet, not today bruh I ain’t f’n no sewer! The finger I used had putrid a stench till I washed it of with a scrubber and soap.
The next day we parted ways, I wonder what was going through that girls mind, that I was impotent maybe?