My Tinder Date was a FAKE!!!

[ATTACH=full]141565[/ATTACH] Before i begin this very very tragic story, i want to let it known that @uwesmake is a bloody fuckin stupid and useless villager. Anyway, this weekend has been a bit tight, being end month, pesa za kwenda tribecca hakuna na local nadaiiwa ka 4 huko sitaonekana hadi next week. So since i was broke i decided to checkout the new mamas on my tinder, nika swipe swipe and got a few matches.
Theres this mama i started talking to, she was average looking, these dark pretty mamas, hua sipendi hizo magiza sisi ni watu light skin express. Anyway, jokes with this girl that i wanted to see her asap, and she accepted, we exchanged contacts and 1 hour later i got into my imprezza and was on my way to pick her. Kufika stage, i started scanning for this chic, i couldnt spot anyone, nika decide kucall, and this chic right next to my car picks up “Kwani uko wapi?” Eihhh!!! I look at her and feel cheated!!! Huyu dem is nothing like she posted on tinder!! She was nit chocolate she was dark black!! This chic was not good looking at all yani ata huwezi have one for the team! So nikachomoka! Like i didnt know who she was.
After driving off nikaskia some bit of humanity, nikakumbuka siku blind date flani slay queen aliona mashavu zangu akacancel date on my face, i decided to go back and pick her up.
I was so furious ata nikashindwa kumuuliza how on earth did she put someone elses pictures as her own. It was around 12 noon tukafika keja nikasosi hio On’gora kama pilau ya mama Abudalla. Worst sex in my life, there was no kissing hata. Huyu dem alikua amenyimwa kila kitu!
After the pathetic sex, things got awkward and she had to leave, nikamdrop kwa stage and went vowing never to contact her again. This chic was a psycho she texted every 2 mins and she now believed i was her hubby. That evening i got about 11 missed calls nikajua hapa nadeal na psycho!
At around 12 usiku this chic had called around 29 times na ametuma texts kama saba refu refu. Next thing i heard was my bell, watchie telling me “ boss kuna madam pale inje analia anasema umekataa kushika simu yake” at that point i regretted my idea to turn back and pick her up. Kushuka chini this chic was crying hysterically, alikua anapiga nduru ati nililala nayeye and nataka kumruka.
Tried getting abit aggressive and she got super extra loud hadi neighbors were just peeping though the windows. After one of my neighbors wife’s talking to her she calmed down tukaingia kudoze, Sunday morning she wokeup and made breakfast and left for church, nilizima simu na hio plot sijakanyaga tena. Locked my house and left!!! Women!!!

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umbwa ujinga peleka facebook KUMA YA OCHUNGLO WEWE

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:D:Dhaujamuita ngombe bado.

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We furahia nimeland Norway nakutambua hii meme…
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Sema kurusha ma haily Mary…but melanin ni mambo bad ikiwa na frame ka yangu…but still them chicks sija swipe left hata moja…

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:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Ati mtu haujui analia kwa gate yenu and you just let her in juu ya kuogopa majirani. Mimi nitakuruka ukitaka kupiga kelele na kuseme how I fucked you si useme kwani iko nini. Hata unaweza ongezea vila I have a tiny dick and I came so fast, mimi I won’t give a damn.
Watu kama hawa ndio wale wa kudunga mtu na kisu juu some other chiq smiled at you

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Nimeacha kusoma hapa juu hio statement ni ya ukweli kapsaaaaaaaa

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Tuletee picha za Norway bana…including hao wa tinder mzae!

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Alifanya nini kwani???

In short @uwesmake
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@Deorro Heshima kwa ploti hua muhimu watu walikua wameanza kuchungulia kwa dirisha men

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Ambia watchman wewe haujui huyo dem na urudi uone movie yakonin peace. Kwani kupiga kelele itamsaidia aje? Wacha kuleta psycho bitches kwako ama you will learn the hard way

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:D:D

We ni mjinga if you mind what the neighbours will take you for. infact by taking her in jua walikudharau yako yote. ingekua mimi ningtoka na kumwambia the fact that you text her as a tinder buddy shouldn’t cloud her minds na ufunge mlango.

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nikiwa bachelor majirani walinitambua kuna time nilileta malaya tukasikizana mia tano , nikakula shot tatu asubuhi anasema anataka thao juu nilienda shot tatu nikamuambia hio ni upusss akaanza makelele ati mimi ni mwizi wa kuma , saa hizo ni sunday morning kitu 6 . nilimtoa njee na kumtupia hio mia tano hapo njee . akapiga makelele hapo njee mimi nikaweka fifa na kuendelea kucheza . majirani wakamwambia awache kuwapigia kelele , akajitoa . apantambua jirani .

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:D:D:D endwaya embukusu, oriena?

ndi mulamu papa

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Hope iyo imprezza unaogelelea ni foot-shoebaru.Coz for the life of me i can’t understand vile unaeza nyandua kitu inakaa hiyo design na vile ma slayqueen wanajipa kujipa kwanza wen u have a moti you’ll get more than you bargained for…

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hata kama kuma inakuanga the same kama huyo kwa picha ndio ulikamua nimekuinulia mkono kuna vitu zingine hata kwa dawa apana

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se silio sio okha khola ta.