Today, I just wanna shout out ladies from East lando and the other side of West lands, Kawangware, Kangemi, Dagoretti
These women are very real, they fake nothing… Not even orgasms… and will tell you…
“Buda leo umenichafua jo, tia bidii boss yangu”
They’re epitomes of the moniker ride or die and if shit boils down, will hide a gun in her biker for you.
They don’t do exotic makeups and hairdos, you’ll find them in baby locks, dreads, braids and cheap weaves, the human hair is often recycled.
They’re the ilk who shave the entire eyebrow only to draw an incoherent line making them look like an amused Chihuahua.
If you see them lightly tapping on the head, just know they’re scratching their two months old weave.
While their counterparts from gated communities have an affinity for rugby players, these ones fight over touts.
Akinyi: Njeri nini unafanya na boy wangu? Nitakanyaga hizo matiti zako zibondeke kama ovacado za Nyamira…
Njeri: Boy wako ndio mgani?
Akinyi: Unajifanya hujui Oti, ule konkodi wa ngaya ya Fowards Travellers…
Njeri: Kwani si ni yeye alini sorora, alisema hujui kugawa, kazi ni kuwika kama kameme , ukiachwa achika…
Their understanding of chivalry is basic at it’s best and barbaric at it’s worst. Instead of flowers, bring mogoka, take them out at Nyama Villa or jam rescue…screw pizza, what’s hamburger when there’s mtura na ka firi firi,…and smokie mwitu…
They also drink Stout and from the bottle… They don’t indulge in emotional black mails, they’re very candid and sure over what they want.
Problem is, most are baby mamas who don’t know who amongst the tout who screwed her on Wednesday, the Gaza gangster who hit it on Friday, the married neighbour who did it on Saturday or the Tarumbeta ya Bwana Pastor who gave her special anointing on Sunday is the father.
They make good wives because they’re inured to tough life. When there’s meat, they’ll take, when the month is tight, she won’t mind skuma.
That is if you are able to get them to stop smoking weed and pray they don’t gota your parents.
Madame wa Ghetto, keep your heads high, it’s never about where you are from, it is about where you are going…
Keep on keeping it real.
C&P