My Kunguru Chronicles, Evading Free Riders

After the election period most people were broke since the economy was still recuperating from a long electioneering period. Even after the October 26th elections, the turn up in social places to mark Christmas and New Year was relatively. Where I live most people opted not to travel to their rural homes citing expenses since January the Landlord was waiting to pounce while children required to report back to school among other issues. Between January and April life was still slow as the economy was still picking up but there were distant signs of improvement. However, From January normalcy had resumed hence with each one going on with their business. Around the third weekend of the month there was a Kenya Cup match pitting the mighty Nakuru RFC AKA Wanyore against Kenyatta University AKA Blak Blud. Putting into perspective Nakuru’s poor run in the Kenya Cup and Blad’s scintillating turn out I knew this was an entertaining affair since these two teams almost equal in terms of technicality. Secondly, one of my best friends from 039 although younger than me was in Blad’s team and a very promising player.

This friend of mine lemme call him Albert we meet in most rugby events and I had promised him atatembea na magoti after the match long ago. However, as a disciplined player he couldn’t party on Saturday due to match commitments the next day and by Sunday after game they often travelled back to Nairobi. Sa ilibidi kutembelea na magoti tume postpone sana. On that Saturday mimi huyo hadi Nakuru Athletics Club I meet Albert we catch up as we wait for the big event. As usual ESS kickoff with second teams playing each other and Wanyore won a hard battled one. Next in line was the event of the day, Albo left me midway in the second half of the ESS game to go warm and run some drills before kickoff. Game time Blad controlled most of the game since they were slightly better on gas and skill in comparison to Wanyore. However, coming down to the business end, Wanyore’s defense was rock solid. While the game proceeded Albo got injured and had to be substituted although Nakuru was in the lead but his absence enabled Wanyore to capitalize hence winning it comfortably. After mechi nkauliza Albo kama ako on drinks akadai all lights. Sa form ikabaki nimchapie club nitakua atokee.

Kitu 9pm nkaingia the famous club 64 nka text Albo atokee then I ordered red label. Being that time of the month and the political turn up of events, watu walikua wamesota kweli. Revellers were very few then chupa zilikua moja, mbili and at most tatu. The most common brand was Tusker Cider since it was being consumed by both genders secondly the number of mizingas bought that night sidhani kama zilipita tano, mine included. Nkachagua table ilikua empty then nkaletewa. Vile mzinga ilifika, everyone around me suddenly tried to befriend me including a pack of kunguru mbili in the company of a nigger who had initially assumed me. After kitu kama ten minutes, my nigga akafika then Sherehe ika anza. Si tukiwa story naona watu wana dance kando yetu, sa me nacheki tu then tunaendelea na story. Kitu 12am a good friend of mine shows up tukachapa ile mzinga then akashika chupa ya pili ya red label. The only bad thing is that alinipea doo nkaitishe and by kitu 2pm my other friend told me of an early morning journey to make hence leaving us with excessive liquor.

After zimeanza kushika we decide to dance kidogo kupunguza tei. Wale slay queen walinilenga kumbuka all along have been looking at us are also dancing. We were so close to the nigga who was with the Kunguru and he tells me to dance with the ladies. Naskia kukataa but small head think otherwise. Eventually I give in and nasuguliwa vizuri same to Albo. After kusuguliwa the nigger now tells “Buda si nimewajenga madem, niwai tei kiasi”. Nkamshow “haina noma ntakuwekea tukiketi”. Sa tukienda kukaa anakuja na glass mbili ati niwekee na uwekee pia hao madem wawili kwa hizi glass. Nkaona huyu na team ‘nifanyie favour’ are working as a unit. Nkashow Albo “wacha nioneshe huyu mjinga sija zaliwa jana”. Immediately nkachukua mzinga na chaser moja, Albo akashika chase ingine na tukahamia table iko far kiasi.

Boyshaud hakuamini what was unfolding before him, when our eyes meet nkiwa safe from his prying tendencies nliona ka huruma in his eyes. Tukajibamba hadi kitu 5am then me nka drop kwa nyumba Albo akarudi kwa room yake.

Hapo uliokoka mtego

Kuomba tei as a man, from a stranger, is the lowest of the low. Hapo hata manhood ya mtu haikubali. Probably hao ni watu wa mchele.

Brownskin si huwa unaBuyia beer na strange men? Msenge

Moral of the story “Pombe si uhani”

:D:D:D:D… i knew this shit was going to come up.

Summary!, can’t read this manuscript on a Friday night

Boss hapo ukikataa kamba. kile ungepata ungeishi ukishuhudia wanaume

Zii. Lakini hakuna haja ya kuexplainia nyinyi manugu. MCA ama MP akiingia club aseme tupewe wote unadhani nitakataa???Anyway, kuna difference ya kukuwa offered na kuomba. Big difference.

yaani mtu ana guts ya kuomba pombe??

Nakuru and more especially Club 64 hakuna story za mchele. kitu tu nliona na huyo msee is that he was asking for more than he had bargained for hence kumtoka.