So I was going through a rough patch psychologically and for some reason I thought it was because I didn’t have children. I’m a very motherly person and it doesn’t help when everyone tells you that anytime you are going through a rough patch it’s because you don’t have a man and children. Women are so brainwashed and gaslit by society that you can’t even have your own mind to understand yourself because your sense of self is so finished by the Patriarchy.
So I knew I can’t have a black man’s child. I had never tried to get pregnant naturally.I did my research and put the money aside. By the grace of God I got a doctor who wasn’t in a hurry to do the procedure. He kept me doing all manner of tests for 6 months. Expensive tests! Fertility tests every month. Scans. There was a time I did 30 tests at a go. It was insane. When I had the appointment to see the doctor he’s busy talking about politics and how his fellow professors sleep with students. I guess he’d never had a patient who had never tried to get pregnant naturally before coming to him.My case was confusing. You want to get pregnant but just not through the normal way of sleeping with a man. It got clearer when I told him I’d be importing a white man’s sperm though he wasn’t amused! Unataka tumuzungu? I didn’t answer.
When time was up and I was going to start the process I went into panic mode. I’d have nightmares about giving birth and I just lost it completely. As a Christian I sought counsel from pastors. They all told me not to go ahead with my plans. So I dropped everything. I took things easy, went on shopping sprees . Peace returned. I decided to focus on my happiness and peace of mind. Calm returned. Without children or men.
I’m glad I changed my mind or the mind patriarchy brainwashed me with. I’m contributing to population decline and I am very proud of myself.I have a really relaxed life. I have nothing to worry about. Being childfree ain’t so bad. It’s peaceful and stress-free. I almost blundered and became a single mother but God was looking out for me sababu Sisi ni wapenzi and we go way back. I am now living a man free, child free life. So far so good. I feel child like and baggage free. I feel closer to God because what’s standing in my way? Absolutely nothing! I have all the time to pray, read my Bible, fast, listen to sermons,go to church,serve in church, help the less fortunate. I have freedom but I don’t mess around with men because I’d like not to end up a femicide statistic on the news. You can’t imagine how relaxed and stress free my life is. I can’t even imagine the chaos men bring to women’s lives in my life. Sema soft life!
Are you sure if you got a msungu today you wont get a child? Seems your problem is failing to get a msungu or his seeds sio watoto. Yours is a psychological problem of a compulsive obsession disorder with half caste kids.
Hehehe
She isn’t ready for life, yet, because she refuses to be honest with herself. Truwoman can’t be helped until she accepts to herself there’s something she needs. I expect the dagger to be readied…
I live a blessed life, so I’d close my eyes and not be bothered with any knife in @TrumanCapote’s hand–I know it’s really for cutting apples, bananas and pawpaws for my salad. It’s her mindset which bothers me, she’s just afraid of people because she never learned trust. Persuade her to change that, and she’ll realise she has never needed to keep a dagger
time
