Please accompany me along the tumultuous trajectory of my friend Shanelle’s life. She receives an expensive education at which she does not excel. In her early twenties she wanders the country, trying on new clothes and men. She renames herself “Queen Lulu Mresh” and seeks enlightenment at music festivals. She wanders home again.
She acquires a few admirers. Of these Francis is the most persistent, though he is far from being her favourite. He never seems to measure up to her standards. To her his physique is not quite right. From her perspective his ideas were peculiar and even foolish.
Hours, days, months, years slip away. Some of her friends now have husbands. How irritating. One cloudless night she attends a party. Never before in her life has she drunk so much wine. All the gaiety, the splendour, the attention of men – she meets a splendid guy. He seems a nice fellow. One thing leads to another.
Three months later, her digestive difficulties become more frequent. Her mother accompanies her to hospital. A fashionable hospital, of course. The doctor summons her to the examination room. His examination is swift and decisive, and his diagnosis is distressing.
Shanelle’s mother breaks the news to her husband in bed, which is their accustomed place for conferences.
“Baba Shiro, I have something awful to tell you. Now, don’t shout, or do anything rash. Just listen.”
She’s lost her necklace, Shanelle’s father thinks. Insurance would take care of it. Women and their stupid necklaces.
“Shanelle is pregnant.”
Her husband turns cold. He heaves himself up on his elbow and looks at his wife in horror.
“No way. This is a joke. She can’t be.”
“She is. The doctor says so.”
“Who was it?”
“She vows she doesn’t know.”
Shanelle’s mother is a woman of stellar common sense. She sets to work to see what can be done to achieve a satisfactory outcome. She is a christian, and the notion of abortion is therefore utterly repugnant to her faith. But in their hometown it was not uncommon for a pregnancy to fail to reach its term. In any case, Shanelle has been suffering from digestive troubles. A good dose of panadol would put that right. She gives Shanelle a dose that would have astonished a bull. It only takes a week for the girl to recover, with no side effects.
Very well. A stubborn case. Next she makes her daughter jump from the table to the floor, several times. The only result is exhaustion.
But the old lady had not finished her schemes. Next she makes Shanelle drink a substantial amount of coca cola and take a very hot bath.
But try as they might, the little intruder did not budge.