my friend joshua

inpired by the thread on uvutaji wa bangi and alerted by one @uwesmake whom sijui anataka nimkamue kwanza ndo aniadd kwa telegram i was to reply to the thread but on seeing the numerous calls for people to post a full hekaya here i am telling u on my experience with fangi.
i was once employed by a mhindi uko thika where i was paid peanuts. hakukuwa na kulipiwa bank,elfu zako kumi ulikua unaendea kwa office na ata badala ya kupewa by mkono mhindi anakuekelea kwa meza. they believe wakikupa kwa mkono utachukua their luck. or maybe someone tell us why they do that. but sunymango ni nani i used to kupeleka gari yenye nlikua nabeba mhindi nayo hapo garage ati naiosha then fill it with scrap metal kwa boot nikauze in case ameniambia tunaenda nyairofi. its not that i am a thief but upeleke mtu westland akuache parking kama amekupa soo moja ya lunch,what can ksh.100 buy? my 40 days almost ended when one day i stole 2 jerrycans of diesel n put in my boss car boot after he told me i prepare we go to parklands. that could have gotten me 1800 ngara but as fate would have it mtungi moja ikafunguka n there was this smell kwa gari. to cut the story short, nilipark kando pale high level juja nikaeka mitungi yangu chini na nikaiacha hapo. whoever aliokota sijui but it saved my ass since on reaching our destination the boss demanded to see the boot.

i lived in kiganjo karibu na corner ya kwanza in a certain plot.near the gate of the plot i used lived joshua who was a weed smoker.he had a desktop computer which was visible through his always open door.wakati bill ya stima ilikam na on dividing by 15 ( the no. of single rooms) kila mtu alikua alipe ksh.300 which to us was a lot. but they( wamama wa ploti) had someone to blame,Joshua,and this time hangeepuka coz the last time walimshtaki kwa landlord ati anavuta bangi kwa nyumba,landlord told hao wamasa that he doesnt care what anbody does in the house as long he is not disturbing others n is paying rent. they went home deflated. now mama muso told other mamas how computers eat stima like githeri n it was a high time joshua hamad or stopped using his computer. in reality it was just a crt desktop which he was using as a tv after buying ka gadget called “combo”. since i happened to be washing my clothes hapo kwa mfereji i tried to put some commonsense into their ears telling them how there is no difference between tv zao na joshua crt but to them i was speaking greek. luckily for me, josh happened to be in his house n later called me to his mancave n told me many hekayas za plot. telling me how those mamas were responsible for his bachelorhood citing a previous case where he brought a wife only for those mamas to converse with one another(when they knew josh wife was listening) on how a girl shud chunguza first whom shes marryn asiolewe na mvutaji bangi ambaye ameoa mara kumi akitupa. the girl confronted josh that evening demanding the truth n since she was not satsified with his answers. she left the following day never to return.
Emotions overcame josh n he lit a stick of fangi which he took a few puffs n handed it to sunnymango who smoked it like a legend n went to his keja n slept. i woke up around saa nne usiku n jakufu my mkorino neighbour who used to fuck wasichana wa nguo mrefu, had put his ampex woofer fullblast playing a reggae song,“i can see it in your eyes” now the beats turned into a sword which was piercing me as the song played. i screamed n screamed n joshua was excommunicated the following day

@sunnymango on thursday tukisafiri with another Ktalker (;);)) tulikuona kwa nduthi hapo Kenol-Makutano road umebeba ka-Honda pump kwa crate na ka 10-litre jerrican ka mafuta tukaambiana huyo ni Sunnymango anaenda ku-irrigate nyanya. we had a lively time reminiscing over your nice hekayas for a long time…

Eti beats zilifanya nini?

Hehehehe, siunacheza ya mbali, ulikujia Guru Nairobi ukampeleka man cave Nyeri?


:D:D:D:D Dude i see we share a common peasantry hood…, back in the days man

hata wewe at juja we had a good laugh…:smiley:

Better laugh moments are coming up soon…, my success or the lack of it makes up for some laughable stuff

Wueeh! Hehehe

Juzi tu Guru had a comment wishing she could travel far away… Kidogo kidogo amebebwa anapita Kenol akielekea Man Cave huko kwa milima

leta handle sunny

thanks @uwesmake my handle is @Frutisana

@sunnymango I must admit you’re brilliant with your hekayas. I hope you’re not being misused by a chuti anymore; in a more fair world you should be a prominent journalist or perhaps a movie director. There was a story you told about your powersaw being stolen which was really touching. Hope you were able to purchase another one. :frowning:

so encouraging!