6 months after the ill-fated cement venture, yours truly, now out of campus and currently making waves in in the tarmacking business, was hanging out with new and improved friends at a swanky new lounge pale Ngong road opposite RFUEA grounds.
It’s called Brew Bistro Lounge. Have you heard of it?
Elders should visit the place sometime.. maybe try something nice and expensive. Like a flaming lamborghini or a jaeger bomb.
Yeah, every man who is testicles deep in debt needs to pick up a drinking habit. On top of their smoking habit. That’s how the fuck we roll, OK?
Mind you, my best friend from Uni, had also picked up a drinking habit but unlike me, he actually had a job to pay for the drinks. In fact his job, which came with a personal assistant, could pay for both his and my drinks.. a rather strange arrangement.. but it worked.
Since I never had a problem with pulling women, especially white women, and he never had a problem with spending money.. we established a rather unique symbiotic friendship.
Bros before hoes.
On this particular weekend, he’d gotten a bonus at work and we immediately decided to blow all of it on some of the newly introduced cocktails on the menu. So on this particular Friday, our table had 5 guys , each with 1 pitcher of the medium beer (Nyatipa).. and with an an extra pitcher as per the happy hour policy of BOGO (Buy One Get One Free).
So 10 pitchers in total. Or 15 litres of beer.
Most excellent.
At around 7pm, the head honcho of this band of brothers orders a bunch of Shisha bongs. Just 2 bongs, but with a twist. Instead of water as the cooling medium for the smoke, we would use some of the extra beer.
The waitress couldn’t believe her ears.
And neither could we tbh. This was some next level extravagant shit. A far cry from the KBC’s, Mwendas and Habesha’s of Nairobi.
Have elders ever tried this trick? Or do all of you just stick to imbibing cheap liquids illegally packed in some godown huko Kariobangi?
Style up buana.
The new and improved Shisha comes through, and all of us take a hit.
Shiiiiiiid.. the shit was fucking amazing. It was like taking a punch to the back of the head, but without the concussion or passing out.
Within no time, our table is full of curious onlookers. Lanyez mostly, because those are exactly the type of women who are drawn to tables full of beer and shisha.
I feel someone tap on my shoulder, and through the thick smoke, I recognise her as one of my ihub buddies’ (now ex) girlfriend (I used to compete in all night hackathons back before ihub moved to Senteu plaza, yet another hekaya for another day)
‘Niaje @Jack_Black?’
‘Poa sana.’
‘I see you’ve moved up in the world.’
I laugh sardonically.
‘Yeah, nimejaribu jaribu’
Some more small talk. She’s also moved up in the world. She has a job now and has moved from Buruburu to Kilimani. One of those wierd life goals for Nairobi women.
‘Where are you working these days btw?’
‘I’m sorry, what?’ - I say.
‘They must be paying really well.’ She says, casually going over the sea of beer and strange smelling Shisha on our table.
‘I’m still tarmacking,’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah’
‘Lol.’ She laughs. Everyone laughs.
‘Smh’
‘My boss is looking for someone to do some media related shit.’
‘Really?’ - I echo her words from about 5 seconds ago.
‘Yeah’ - Another echo
‘Huh, OK’
‘Can you come in on Wednesday next week?’
And that’s how I got my first job.
Fresh out of campus. Perineum deep in debt. Smoking beer filled Shisha at some lounge on Ngong road.
Life will take you anywhere.
Signed,
Jack_Black
