Before I start let me just put it out there that this is not a swashbuckling tale of plunder. This story will probably bore most of you so to the usual bunch of rabid animals, feel free to skip ahead to the comment section and write upus or any of its variations.
Most men will have you believe they are studs, beings of unbelievable sexual prowess who never fail to make the kill and never fail to please. That’s why most men are liars. In every man’s closet there are a more than a few tales of failure in the bedroom. My greatest failure came at a time of a drought so unbelievably long that I had decided it was my own decision to stay celibate (It was several months long). I was in the old neighbourhood saying hi to the folks when I ran into this lady from the hood. I had known her for a while and she was quite the looker but I’d never really had much interest.
The conversation started with the usual ‘highs, umelost… etc’ and somewhere in between I mentioned the fact that I’d moved out and just as a friendly gesture mentioned she can come over and visit. SHE SAID YES! I thought it was a joke up to the point where we exchanged nos. and said goodbye. We texted that night once I was back at my place and as I fumbled through what still seemed like a joke I asked what she would be bringing me as a house warming present… SHE SAID ‘HERSELF’! My brain must have fried because soon after we said goodnight.
I woke up at 6 am to a ‘good morning’ text and something in my mind decided today was the day. To cut a long story short I convinced her and in a matter of hours boom! There she was.
No time was wasted and soon enough we were on top of the bed kissing and caressing etc and everything was great until she took off her top!
I have a problem, I’m not really into the whole momo thing! That whole African woman figure thing doesn’t really work with me. I have no problem with a big chic but I like tight skin. When I see all those many folds, folding over one another like they’re trying to hide something; instant turn-off. But this was something I was discovering on that day. However I reminded myself that I’m a man and I had to finish the job so once everyone was at fever pitch I brought out the condom (Just say condom you prudes). I decided to ‘deflate’ a bit so I could fit the condom more easily and that’s when my penis, my constant companion for twenty something years betrayed me. The thing went full flaccid! I tried not to panic. For the sake of my ego I put the thing on and tried to push it in hoping the contact would activate the bloody thing but for some reason I just couldn’t get the folds out of my head. I tried everything and she even offered to help (oh shame) but nothing worked. Frustrated, I eventually went back to the living room and started watching something. She just stayed naked in bed.
After some minutes, for some reason, I whipped out the d*** and started to do what I do when I need to do what I do. Presto! It came alive again. I had the condom on in no time and was soon on top of her, eager to redeem myself. I was going to rock her world, I was going to crash that p****, I was going to smash it to smithereens and I probably would have succeeded I hadn’t cum less than a minute later. I don’t even remember whether I felt shame but I just complimented her on having such an amazing p**** because nothing ever made me cum that fast before.
Knowing the deed was done, I made a few excuses and soon we were out the door and going our separate ways. She was nice enough to text me later and say “Hope you enjoyed the quickie”. That was nice. Only a girl with Ugandan heritage would care enough to help a man’s ego off the floor. By deciding it was a quickie I was basically being let off the hook for what was a performance worse than DJ Creme’s!
@Web Dev jamaneni wekea mimi tl;dr
there are no comments…except one request…
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Hii hekaya ni noma jo.
Petr chech summarize
Hehe
You have a problem. You are GAY
Hapo I support strongly and vehemently. Every conversation should start with a high.
Lakini naulisako was she a nun wearing a habit that you did not notice alikuwa momo?
Just forgive my life for a moment. *flies away
Summary:
@Steelo alipewa ikus kibahati after dry spell ya miezi,karibu adhani amerogwa.jamaa alianguka mtihani hata baada ya kupewa leakage.sasa anajitetea eti mamomo si preference yake…alisahau hata trailer iwe kubwa aje nafasi ya dereva ni ile ile na maji chafu pia uzima moto.
He is a team mafisi impostoro_O
Nope. She wasn’t actually a momo, she just had a few momo like features which weren’t immediately apparent
-Hooked up with a chiq from former hood
-Jokingly invited her
-Nyama ikaivana
-Mjamaa apapewa vitu
-Akacheki dame na maYokohama na utambi (na sio ya stove)
- Phobia kicked in
-He ended up performing a quickie
:D:D:D:D:D:D
that was no compliment, dumbo…
I didn’t say it was a compliment. It was something I knew she was doing to take the pressure off a poor performance. Like Arsenal losing 3-0 in the league cup and then the fans say they lost the game because it’s not an important trophy
Upuss, ntasoma kesho
You let an opportunity with a Ugandan girl pass you? Anyway, angekupeleka mbio kama di*k inge-behave. Ungekuwa unamuona unatetemeka!
You cant shoot pool with a rope pole kaka
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
ask for a rematch…lol
Pole kaka lakini after dryspell coomer mpya shoti moja is never enough the ninja will be up after a few minutes ikikumbuka vile imekua jangwani for months or years