As you all know I am a single dad. When Corona hit, baby went home to stay with my parents.
Now, today my baby mama calls and demands for her child back. I tell her no and of course things go south. What legal avenues do i have to address the issue? She has been absent from his life since April 2019. Save for 5 weeks in the whole period when she either visited or stayed with him.
That’s my first issue. Secondly, my parents have insisted that they stay with him for now. I really feel so bad. That boy is my lifeline. My everything. Without him my life has been so horrible. I have not the energy. I keep wondering if they would have done the same if i was a woman.
Elders, what should I do?
How do I tame my errant baby mama and how do I handle my parents wanting to raise my child?
EDIT
She -my ex had a mental breakdown 4 weeks ago. She was diagnosed with drug induced psychosis.
I do not feel like she is suitable to look after the kid.
She has a history of abuse- so do I too actually for the sake of full disclosure.
I’m was also diagnosed with bipolar in 2015 . I have been off medication since 2016 with no serious incident.
If she walked away from the child in the first place, then you need to apply for full custody on the basis of an unfit mother (left the baby). Now ur parents who are taking care of the boy at the moment will also have to prove that they are fit guardians or u as a fit father if you want the baby to be staying with you. You could be lucky to get the court maintain the status quo while they determine the matter.
Strength and guidance bro! I always resort to prayer and things like this sort themselves out in my favor…I don’t know if you’re religious tho…
As far as legal matters are concerned try to gather as much evidence as you can to show her neglect…if she’s violent, abusive or a drug addict etc to help you win custody
…and please allow the child and mother to bond once clear boundaries have been set coz that’s the only mother he’ll ever have…
Bruh you and I have re-hashed this issue here a few times. Please listen to your parents, think they are right let them have him as you can visit him while you sort the baby mama issues. I can’t tell you more about what the law says about the mother’s claim but the boy’s well being is v crucial right now.
If the child is less than ten years old, then precedence has been set that the odds will favour the mother as long as she can prove her case. Why did you break up in the first place? Advising you with half information that favours you for obvious reasons is unhelpful. Every side of the story matters. It’s unlikely the court can allow third parties (your parents) to take care of a child whose parents are still alive and in this case, the mother is showing open readiness to raise her child. Meanwhile, run to court before she does.
Well i believe she had post perterm depression. She said so herself. She had a really hard time being a mom. She felt like me and the child were holding her back.
I actually left when the baby started asking why his mom didn’t love him. I won’t paint a rosy picture of myself either. I was coming from a 6 year toxic relationship. My temper was short and i wasn’t even being a dad back then. But i was not abusive or negligent
My case is that she isn’t stable enough. I don’t mind her presence in his life. In fact I encourage it. She is prone to bouts of extreme emotions. She sometimes goes through what I used to call phases. I would say she is going through her mom phase now. But sooner or later she will return to her party phase and there in lies the problem. Whatever she’s doing always consumes her 100%. Anything else is neglected to the side.
I could go one forever. I admit I wasn’t perfect. But she was just horrible. Judging by history that is.
Sorry to be blunt: She is a drug junkie and you are a mental case. None of you is fit to keep custody of the child. Reason being both of you will go to court to discredit each other and show how unfit each of you is to keep the child. Both of you will be very successful with this. Since both of you are unfit, the child ends up with your parents - if they are capable. You still win anyway.
this sounds betamale chieth.