Yes, I am a survivor of GBV because my first boyfriend stalked me and threatened to kill me after I left him for being too controlling and over possessive. He also verbally abused me and physically assaulted any man who would be anywhere near me or try to talk to me. Trust me if there’s someone with a reason to be bitter with men it’s me. I even had to go to the police but the man kept stalking me even inspite of getting another gf, he was determined that I wouldnt move on without him.
So nakuelewa Salma tena sana. Here is what I have learnt from interactions with men. Never marry or have children with a man who is beneath your socio economic status. If you are really dying to have kids, go abroad find a good white sperm donor and have his kids. Heck, they can send you the sperm, just go to European sperm bank , upload your photo to get a white man whose facial features match your own, and has other features you want in terms of hair colour - mine was strawberry blonde and blue eyes, the height and education level and career path you prefer, height, build musical or artistic talents, you really have a wide range to pick from so that you don’t have to settle for less because you get everything you want in a male but can’t access ,they ship the vials in nitrogen .
He may not be financially better than you but socially and race wise he is higher up the totem pole compared to men from other races.All females in the animal kingdom go for males who are better than the them, that’s why male animals look more beautiful than female animals,look at the lion and the peacock for example. Monogamy in a patriarchal society and obsession with weddings and romance has deliberately distorted nature. Procreation is not for all males, females only propagate the best genes from the most superior males available. That means that in the animal kingdom, some males don’t get offspring while others get plenty of offspring for the benefit of survival of the fittest - a darwian evolution finding to support the propagation of the species and clear poor genes in human language they label it prejoratively as eugenics but it’s nature’s way of improving the gene pool. My maternal great grandfather had 16 wives and since he was a senior chief his wives each had fewer children - (my maternal grandma only had 4 kids)and better upkeep than the women who were monogamously married to a poor man and had to have at least 9 kids a woman The problems we have with our current situation is monogamy forcing women to each have her own man, unfortunately most of the men available for this are beneath the woman and that forces the woman to propagate inferior genes of men who don’t deserve offspring because they are of lower socio economic and even genetic status. You can see that the man who you are with is not even aesthetically pleasing to the eye, neither does he look intelligent or act like it.If all human females killed off inferior male genes by not having children only for the superior males, in a few generations we’d have a great gene pool. In the animal kingdom there’s no money so they go by looks and physical strength and impressive mating dances. Point remaining that the male must prove to the female that his genes are worth propagating. It’s not about emotions. It’s a calculated science because the future of that species lies in this decision. Poor choice of inferior genes by the female could lead to extinction of that species.
My dear Salma, money doesn’t work the same way for men as it works for women. Money gives men power and control- a man with no money and has no control.
Money gives women the ability to evade and avoid men , to get and stay way from men. Look at the self made billionaires - Oprah, Martha Stewart - not married and or have kids. Money is very important for women in countries like Kenya with extremely high femicide rates. You should not as a woman do anything else in life before having your own house and consistent source of income plus car to get you away from low caliber men who are the worst predators - look at women being groped, sexually assaulted,stabbed and set on fire in public transport - get a car to get away from the men on public transport.
Remember that so long as as a woman you are financially stable, you don’t marry or procreate for a man , you can get over anything life brings your way because you have taken away the means which give men control and power over women. When as a woman you or your family provide for a man he’ll not be grateful, he’ll be jealous,envious resentful and emasculated this is why they even get violent and ends up humiliating and betraying you. Every woman who married and had kids with a man of lower socio economic status than her always ends up being betrayed and humiliated ,look at Wendy Williams, Jill Scott, Mary J Bilge and many others. Even the Bible says that no matter how wealthy a woman is, the man must be the provider meaning he has to have a higher socio-economic status than her.
When you spend money on men or help men it will always backfire on you as a woman because women were never meant to be providers for men, even the wealthy proverbs 31 woman was taking care of her workers and kids but never providing for her husband.Remember that when Queen Sheba visited King Solomon bearing gifts?! He returned her with triple what he brought her because in his great wisdom he understood what being a man was about. A woman must never out give a man or he loses his priestly anointing aka nyota.
It’s never too late to leave a bad situation unless you are dead. I see you are pregnant again with that loser cut your losses while you are ahead. He was out with other women then he comes home to beat you yet you are pregnant, men hate free things from women. They really hate women who are good to them. They want women who only think about themselves and their children. This is true even though some men may not even be conscious about it. They have to be on top. If you are on top, it’s nothing but trouble. If you are on top and then marry and have their kids, you are screwed. So don’t wait for the next betrayal. Diseases. Beatings. Femicide. Just get out and let the man make his own way in life. It’s what men were created for. Making their own way. If your dad made it or if you made it what stops him yet he’s a man in a man’s world that’s like a fish being in water but can’t swim. It’s asking you to swim for it yet you are a land animal.Get the ferk out of that mess. You have money and now you have kids. What else do you need from this leech. This is Kenya. Your dad can make him disappear for good so that he won’t embarrass you ever again. That’s how drug barons roll. You can’t disrespect Le familia. After wamekupea nyumba,gari,a wife ,kids,fees name it. That guy should be in a septic tank right now.
