Yes. I have never liked the attitude black men have toward children which is also highly informed by the black American fatherless culture. I am usually hard on single mothers for putting boyfriends ahead of their children. I take parenting and marriage very seriously because I grew up seeing people taking monogamous marriage vows very seriously. I didn’t see single mothers and divorcees. A huge contributing factor to my shelfing ideas of being a single mother. A woman is blessed with many attributes but she can never be a father.
Fathers are important. My own father has been the rock of my life. The kind of love he has shown me through out my life is the reason I have not gotten pregnant out of wedlock and I have not married a man who doesn’t live up to the type of a man my father is. And I can tell you my father is in the 1% of fathers. That man has never slept out, come home drunk or even been out at night. He is the reason why I don’t like being out at night and the reason why I never got involved in party life. In our house everyone was to be home before dark and he led by example. I have very high standards about the kind of man I would marry and have children with because I am looking at the example of my father. At over 70 years of age my father is still busy with his life. He is supervising his crops and doing his other projects. When my dad sets out to achieve his goals he’s unstoppable. He has achieved feats which men half his age can’t. He doesn’t make excuses. To get a man like this, in this era of entitled boys who don’t what it means to be a man(they need Amerix to teach them) is like winning a lottery.
Fathers’ day is tomorrow and I can proudly say that I have the absolute best father on earth. Even at his age he is still a role model to me about what manhood is about. He is not defined by his age. He will beat any 30 year old man in achieving his goals. OK I have gushed enough about the oreo that is my dad, let me get to the point. I had to give you my frame of reference first so you understand where I am coming from.
My masculinity Monday and other men’s movements are for weak men. Who taught our fathers to be men? Was it Amerix and red peel? You must know yourself as a man. You must decide what kind of man you want to be by yourself. Nobody can teach you. You have to decide. You won’t be a dead beat father to your children. You won’t have children to women who you are not married to. You will be in your children’s lives come hell or high water.
Mambo ya children will look for you is a scam. Get visitation rights from the court bcz your absence is more trauma than custody battles. Incase your baby mommas boyfriends are harming your kids you will know exactly what is happening in your kids lives.
Your role is not just to bank roll your kids. You need to mentor, encourage and create memories together. There’s no court which will deny you visitation rights or even partial custody. Don’t abandon your kids ati it’s manhood. Kids are not fools their mum can’t poison them if you are in their lives. In your absence they will believe their mom bcz you are not there to challenge the narrative, if you impregnated a toxic woman be a man and deal with your poor/bad choices. The children didn’t send an application to be made to suffer. Ndovu hashindwi na pembe zake.