I was drinking at this keg joint in Mtwapa. I was joined at the table a short stocky fella, a midget for all purposes and intends.
He found me drinking. I was drinking the dark keg. I prefer the light keg (keg lager), but it is hard to get it in mtwapa. So I was drinking the black one “guiness” keg, as they call it. Yeye aka-order spirit: I think kane extra or something. Tukaendelea kukunywa, while chatting about various issues. It emerged that he works at one of the key tourist hotels in shanzu. Tunaendelea kuongea juu ya various issues: the torrential rains, politics, kieleweke, tanga tanga, ruto’s chances, gideon moi’s ambitions, the recent land skimirshes in kijijini area, raila’s end-game, matiang’is trajectory e.t.c. All the while, we are drinking, and the alcohol is taking its toll.
Then at some point he blurts out, albeit in a low volume (and I am quoting him verbatim): “unaeza kunitombesha na mia ngapi hivi?”
I was taken aback.
I recovered soon enough to tell him that “mimi sio wa hiyo side” but I was still in shock. First that a man could approach another man so casually: ati “unaweza kunitombesha na mia ngapi hivi”. Fvck. And second that he was thinking in terms of “mia ngap hivi” – I always thought it costs tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, to get a man to open his server! Of course, even if it was millions, it is not something I can do (if nothing else because I fear pain). So I was taken aback.
Later, in conversations with other people, I came to learn that, indeed, the going price for mkoundou in that area is in terms of hundreds (not thousands). Apparently, there are too many male hookers from all over east africa who trooped to Mtwapa after hearing that they could make a “fortune” there while having fun at the same time. A few made it. But the majority hit rock bottom, as the flooded market translated into more supply than demand: hence the question “unaeza kunitombesha na mia ngapi hivi?”