Moving to a coastal town

Wadau i need serious advice, nimechoka na Nairobi so i was thinking about moving to one of the coastal town of Kenya except Mombasa(I don’t like that place).
Which town can you guys advice based on real life experience si story za base ya mogoka. Town kama Lamu, malindi, mtwapa etc. Ziko aje? How is the living standards za huko, rent ya one bedroom/ bedsitter? Economic situation; hustle inaweza jipa ama lazima employment, vitu za day to day living they expensive.

Asande in advance.

Whats wrong with msa?

Kilifi ndio the new frontier. Sijawahi fikisha makende huko lakini, so I’m out.

There is a v recent thread about life in coast. Dig the archives…else @LongTime please come one second. Will try and find it for you.

Ukunda in South Coast is a nice place to lay low.

Leta odds

Your advice will be appreciated.

I remember that thread it focused solely on lanyes and how easy it is to get laid in mtwapa.

There is another one by Blaze about making a move to the coast.

Utawezana na joto huko? There’s nothing that irritate me like heat especially usiku.

Kuna kutu inaitwa feni,kiyoyozi ama air kondishen.

Nimeishi Malindi, Port Riez, Kinango and Msambweni

Chakula ni gharama. I remember buying viazi vitatu for 30 bob. Weh. Crazy. Tomato moja twenty bob. Off season you’re better off eating out kwa vibanda than cooking.

One thing that is cheap huko ni rent. Kuna nyumba aina zote. From villas costing almost half a million monthly to shacks za one thousand.

I preferred one room houses. One room ya coast unaweza partition uweke sitting room, kitchen na bedroom. The decor and beauty is non existent or minimal at best. The finishing is not mandatory. Mingi hazina hata ceiling unasikia kila kitu kwa jirani. But space ipo. Toilets are generally clean juu muslims don’t use tissue. Water can be a challenge. It is salty and supply may be unreliable. That is the one thing I could never get used to.

Lifestyle ya Mombasa. Wow. I miss it. Watu wa bara huenda Mombasa wanakwama huko. The women are lovely. Especially digo women. You sleep with one, consider her your wife. She will move in, clean and wash for you bila stress. I have never seen such domestic women anywhere else. Urembo nao. Wacha tu. From puberty these women are raised and taught to care for the men. Laziest bitches ever I swear but ukifunikwa na buibui bro. Kutoka ni kasheshe.

Coast life is slower than continent life. Everything moves in slow motion. No one is in a hurry. Ever.
I was once in a shop and it so happened to be on a Friday wakati wa dua. Lemme tell you, the owner politely asked us to leave. He closed shop and went to swali. We waited outside until he returned to sell. Every other shop was also closed!

I was in awe. This one time I was going to Ukunda from Msambweni. Tukapata kaboy about 10 years old kwa barabara. They spoke with the conductor for a minute. Gari likazimwa. 30 minutes later, a lady appears with bags and boards na tukaanza mwendo. We literally waited for someone to bathe and pack. Watu wa pwani!

Coast economics hukuwa trix. You can be piss poor and suddenly filthy rich the next day. My cousins showed me that. This guy went there on holiday. He somehow ended up as a vehicle broker. Kidogo ameanza dealership. Today he has nothing. This is in a span of like 4 years.

There is plenty of business of every type. You’ll meet billionaires wa ukweli wacha hawa wa ktalk. And really poor people.

Pale Malindi I lived mtaa wa Maunga opposite the district hospital - I forget the name. Maunga are hardcore drug addicts. I thought these people were poor. This was the ghetto after all. They would rent one room houses and sleep in them communally. I one day came to find out that they were the sons and daughters of the richest men/families around. Someone asked me how else they could afford cocaine and heroine daily- kitu ya 4,000 per fix. There was this lady in particular. Milf kuruka. She was a darling. She would sit outside my house. Tit out and a syringe sticking out from underneath. When her eyes cleared a little bit, she would nudge the needle plunger some and you’d see them cloud over. Her husband happened to be a local real estate mogul. In fact he owned the house I lived in and half the street behind it. You’d never guess. Funny place the coast.

I used to joke with friends. With 200 bob I lived like a king there. Token ya 10 bob ya kuwasha fan. Sijui kama ni posbo na uwizi wa kplc siku hizi. Street food pwani sio tatizo. High quality. Kuna samaki wa kupaka wanaitwa una. I spent my mone like nonsense. That fish is heavenly. Viazi karai wacha tu. I would sit there with the mama as she cooked them. People thought I was her employee. Sometimes I was. Makosa ni kujipikia. Sometimes off season shit would get terribly expensive. Like ridiculously so.

Mtaani chakula cha 70 kimetosha mchana kutwa. 30 lunj 40 supper. Pilau ya 70 if you have the money and boy is it sweetest.

Mnazi ya 30 na ushafunga siku vizuri.

Overall I found it easier to survive in coast than here.

I love coastal life. One day I pray I get to live there again.

Before I forget. Homosexuality. Being gay in coast is not a big deal. Seeing two men kissing doesn’t elicit a second glance from the locals. During baikoko especially. Kuna siku tumepelekwa kitchen party na mama wa viazi karai. My word. Those women get wild. Dera yamwagiwa maji tena binti anacheza chura. Wow. They don’t wear underwear incase you’re wondering. Now, there were these two gay men grinding on each other to the delight of the bride and her entourage. Mimi nilifikiria ni madem wakonde at first. Juu wanatingiza vizuri sana. Only for the dude to get a massive erection ndio nikashangaaa lahaula. Namna gani. I just left. I’m not gay.

Anyway. All the best bro. Mombasa soon shamba la mawe ni bahari la pweza.

Not that I doubt what you’ve typed but don’t you see the contradiction? You start by saying the food is expensive, then end by telling us it’s affordable. Ama ni “chakula cha bara” ndio expensive huko?

Cooking for yourself is expensive. But eating out is relatively cheap. I caught it too. Ni kushindwa kuandika.

My guy uliishi kinango na msambweni? Huko kinango shiit hasnt changed barabara mbovu, vumbi na joto is still the order of the day.

I lived in Coast for a 2 weeks. Wahhh. That kaheat. The sun literally sits 90 degrees to your forehead all day. You feel like eating food with a lot of salt. Limes or adding a lot of salt to your sukuma.

The humidity in coastal areas makes things worse. I remember watching those coastal TV shows za KBC and those characters used to sweat like nobody’s business. High moisture in the air also makes it hard to breath especially if you’re a visitor. Wenyeji washazoea.

Woow…ni mimi tuu who has not experienced this bohemian coastal life.

I still remember box body buses. The worst.

Wewe unataka the rich coastal version najua :D:D kwa beach na cocktails in a bikini ukichapwa tantric massage na coconut oil under a palm tree.