Mother's Day

Remember to thank your mums for literally everything. She is the only person genuinely interested in the bullshit that’s going on in your life. Everyone else is pretending, even your dad.

Uliza mamako alipendea babako nini

Lakini, taimagini I know Mums who have conned their diaspora kids millions of cash. Zile ulimtumia to invest for you.

I have a friend whose own mother refused to give him his birth certificate ndio apate passport ya kwenda majuu. The guy had korofishana na his mzee so the mother was scheming to unite them forcefully. Some mothers are just either stupid or evil ama a combination of both.

The guy hasn’t seen his parents for 10 years. Juzi his uncle anampigia simu ati asaidie school fees ya sister yake juu the parents are struggling akawaambia wajitombe. My boy grew up with really strict parents who wanted him to stay home all day and would refuse to let him go outside and interact with his age mates and the world. Sasa the guy can’t stand them and hates them like shaitan.