Mother vs. Mum
My first post, bear with any writing issues. I hope I can write like @Nyarwath
I tend to believe that a mother differs from a mum in the same way a father differs from a dad. One can be a mother and not a mum. Also, one can be a father and not a dad. But u can be a dad and a father or be a mum and mother. A dad or a mum is one who helps raise the children. A dad or a mum takes responsibility. If you are raising another man kid, you are the dad and not the father.
Personally, I was raised by my grandmother and uncle. The grandmother, therefore, acted as the mum while my uncle was my dad. I never saw my biological dad. So my mother, who was a live all that time, qualifies as the mother (purely from a biological point of view). She had no form of mum-input in my life. How?
To cut the long story short, by the time I was in class 8 I had never seen my mother. In fact, as I became self-aware (kuerevuka) in the 1990s, I realized that I looked different from the other kids in every sense. It is at the same time villagers become my source of infor: “unajua were si wa huku?”, “mamako alienda Congo”, “she resides in Mombasa”, “she is rich” and many other bla bla bla. But where was she? At 14 years of age, I dint know her! I’m told she deported me to the shags at barely a year old.
It is then I decided to follow the issue with my grandy. I kept nagging her to take me to my mother. Finding my mother became an obsession. But at one time grandy aliboeka akaniona war mbaya for distubbing her. Hii story si ngeacha iende tu hivo. I threatened her nitajinyonga but wapi? Vitisho baridi never meant much to her. Then one day, grandy akaniita and ordered me to write a letter to my mother. She would dictate the content. In summary, the letter read as follows
“hope you are fine, this is t inform you that your last born son (me) is dead and will be buried this Saturday”. I was surprised by this apprpch. I left the letter with her. Anyway, that Sunday a woman entered the compound wailing, “My son is dead”, “who killed my son”, nini ilifanyika?”
Hii time there was some gathering in our compound. Everybody was surprised. Mimi nilikuwa hapo, here is my mother. How do approach her? She greeted me casually before the shouting match started between and grandy. It is the only time I saw my grandy quarrel a grown up. Mother aliteteshwa na kila mtu pale. I felt good seeing her on the back foot. My life was just too difficult due to her neglet. Little did I know the worst was to come.Then there was another problem, she had another toddler on her back. Everybodys’ heart sank. I immediately new maisha yanu itakuwa ngumu zaidi. By the following day, my mother left and promised that she would come for us at the end of the holiday. I saw her again 4 years later. Anyway, that toddler is now a candidate in this year’s KCSE. What a journey it has been. Without a mum, this world can be brutal and unforgiving. Wishing all candidates a peaceful exam period, particularly the mum-less like us. I have a feel of the challenges and potential abuse you might have experienced.