What mistakes did the naive you make with women? Tuchanuane kama wanaume. On my part, lessons I have learnt through reading and experience:
Investment - What is investment? Its the amount of time and effort you spend on a particular woman. You’d want your investment in a woman to match hers in yours or at a lower level unless off course you are already married or heading there. You see when you invest in someone more than they do to you, you become more attached to themon. As a result, you are more likely kutumiwa and thus respect lost or unatupwa friendzone. A particular situation is where you would pay bills for a woman you just met or cancelling your plans to meet somebody who is not interested in you. Put yourself in the shoes of such a woman. If she can make you pay her bills without investing in you, why should she even invest in you unless she just wants to use you more. Gauge her level of investment and match it. This does not mean usifanye kitu. Lead as normal just check on the investment level such that she also has to invest too. Ask yourself is a woman likely to be attracted to someone she also has to invest in or someone whom she can get investment without no effort at all.
Intentions - You are a man. You should not be afraid of being true with your intentions. Sometimes tunakosea even me. You want to fuck this woman but you are talking about the weather, Jubilee na matatu strike. How does that even turn a woman on. There are 3 types of women you will meet: Receptive women - these ones like you. Cheza kama were. Unreceptive women: have no interest in you for their own reasons. Apana waste time. Neutral women. Here is where game comes in. These women need to be pushed to either side of the spectrum : receptive or unreceptive. So if you meet a neutral woman na mnaongea story ya jam na matatu kila wakati, they become unreceptive. What do you do: you polarise these neutral women by flirting and teasing them with your intentions so that they make a stand on each spectrum about you. Examples of polarisation is complimenting, teasing sexually, touching women. Basically polarisation means acting on your intentions in an appropriate manner apana ambia bibi ya wenyewe unataka long dick style hehe. A man who acts on his intentions is a polarising man. For example, you see a kawoman kwa area yenu dressed good, you compliment her that is polarising. If you criticize your woman where appropriate it is polarising. That’s why a woman can be mad at you na bado ako turned on he he. The intentions are what always matter. Besides if a woman rejects you, ni sawa they saved you time and effort either way.
Game - what is game? What does it mean when you have no game? Game is the process how you make a woman to invest in you. Some of us men are plain boring sometimes. Ukiulizwa something you give a direct answer. Its called game for a reason. Play about don’t be direct all the time. That’s where the fun is.
Look at these two texts
Dame: Sasa, unado?
Chali: Naona tu movie hapa.
Dame: Gani?
Chali: Avengers, iko fiti
Dame: OK. Enjoy
Dame: Sasa, unado?
Chali: Mbona unataka kunipeleka out?
Dame: Haha zii, Niko indoors tu leo
Chali: Na bado unashangaa mbona uko single smiley
See the polarization - teasing na flirting kidogo to make it fun and an opportunity to take the conversation to another level
Friendzone - A very murky area but it’s because you don’t state your sexual interest. If you don’t hint that you are sexually interested in a woman then they throw you into rejected, mtu wa kutumiwa or friend zone. That’s why its very important to state your sexual interest early so that kama unakataliwa usonge mbele. It happens to all of us. Kale kadem unashinda ukientertain na jokes, memes, small talk alafu bam we are friends. So find a way to indicate sexual interest early on.
Pitfalls
Neediness - This is what happens when you value other peoples perception over your own. You’ve seen it in the forum. Some woman calls somebody slim, they post a picture showing their muscles. This means you are so concerned about an anonymous woman’s perception of you that you had to post a picture. That is NOT attractive. Or hii situation a woman tells you she doesn’t like how you dress na we we unabadilisha dressing code to vile anataka. Very unattractive. The key in stopping neediness is striking a balance between your view and others view because on the end of the spectrum is a narcissist who only cares about their own opinion. How do you strike a balance. A woman tells you they don’t like how you wear,
Non-needy: listen to them then casually say you feel most comfortable that way but you’ll take some of their tips.
Needy: changes wardrobe immediately
Narcissist: gets angry na anashika feelings
What about u?
